My-heart-all-over-the-place…(an update of sorts)

(This post was written and edited a month ago, just now found the time … or maybe the courage… and decided to publish it.)

To write or to sleep.

We’ve all heard the saying “Sleep while they’re sleeping.” While most nights I wrestle between journaling or sleeping (it’s not even a fair wrestling match anymore; sleep is like BAM and it’s over)… tonight I’m not even torn between the two. I know my heart and mind are full and I’ve got to pour it out.

I know I also want to post this one publicly.

So here I am… a bit of an update but more than anything my raw heart. Our hearts. Where we are at… the really REAL stuff – like I like it. :) You know me… TMI and “OMG did she really just post that for the whole world to read!” Yep, this is me. Here I go again.

Tonight, on the drive home from dropping Ted’s mom off at the airport… we had it out with our almost 5-year-old which led to hurtful words spat and tears to fall from Ted and I. PARENTING IS NOT FOR THE FAINT OF HEART, let me tell ya.1540466_10154127599490727_1274122521_o

As we ended the argument conversation with Chase, I watched his red and teary face in the rear view mirror, I felt this all-too-familiar feeling and literally grasped “at my heart”. I remembered the tragic loss a fellow blogging momma had, just a few weeks back. Her bright and bubbly 3-year-old son’s life was suddenly, and tragically taken when we was struck by a passing vehicle. Tonight, as we finished arguing, I remembered their story. And I felt oh so challenged,,, even though these moments of arguing, quite frankly, suck… I want them.

I want all of the moments, not just the fun and easy ones, but the ones that make me struggle as a parent. The ones where my sensitive soul takes over and I cry over the hurtful words that my kid speaks (yes, sometimes I do). I want all of these moments, I was struck tonight at how horrible our drive home felt, we felt defeated and yet as I looked from my seat to his and saw his eyes, I couldn’t help but to be thankful. Reminded that even these moments that feel so ugly and heart wrenching: they are life.

PRECIOUS LIFE.

Remembering the couple’s story causes me to revisit my own grief. Time is so fleeting and oh so precious. LIFE is. It takes me back to the hospital room, 7 months pregnant, where I was told our Eisley-girl had passed away within me. I feel this ache in my chest and hot tears in my eyes even now as I type this. It’s grief and it takes me back, again and again and again – to the reminder of how PRECIOUS our time and our life is. And that we need to cherish it and live NOW. Live for the now, not for the “laters” in life.

We have lists – written or imagined – of the “somedays” and the “laters” in our lives…

On our drive home (and after said Family Feud) The Sweetest Name by the United Pursuit Band burst loudly through our speakers.

I will sing of

how you draw me

out of darkness

into Glory

Quite emotional after a) dropping my Mother-In-Law off at the airport and b) the seriously difficult “brawl” with Chaseyboy on the way home… I just felt like sobbing when this part of the song rang through our van.

And I just felt totally rocked with YES, THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT WE WANT FOR OUR LIVES.

After the draining conversation with Chase, we just hit a rock bottom of sorts. Sudden moments like tonight where we’re caused to push aside the “busyness” of our lives and address difficult and painful things. Where suddenly we were forced to FEEL.

When we remember what we value and what we long for. When we remember what we know we are to be doing.

Which leads me to our NOW and what we are doing in the next years to follow…

We’ve been doubting our move and next season in life pretty much since it became real and since we’ve stepped our feet into our home. OUR HOME (still so surreal!). It’s set in stone, it’s happened. We are here and here to stay for a while. Roots, people. The Davis Family has actually landed. I can just hear the gasps :)

But after a night like tonight, where we’ve been forced to set aside our busy life and face emotions (which obviously led to multiple emotions felt, ha!) we feel as though our Maker took this time to remind us of what He’s called us to and to breath a sort of peace into our lives again. We can embark on this new season, new journey, with confidence.

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So where?,…you might ask…

Ready for this… after an almost 5 year hiatus, we are jumping back into YWAM (Youth With A Mission)! After A LOT of thought, time, energy and multiple visits to the base (oh, and even a little bit of prayer ;))… we’ve decided to step back into YWAM at the Colorado Springs base in Colorado.

What happened to “We are moving to Thailand fall 2014!!!!!!!!!”

     Simply put (and oh my, this is humbling) we are not prepared. It is currently not practical for us to fly overseas and settle in Thailand- even though it is our ultimate goal. We do not have anything nailed down for our vision yet. We have also decided it is the absolute best thing for our family to stay in one place for at least 3-5 years (maybe more) We would like to spend the next years focusing on getting our family prepared for Thailand. YWAM Colorado Springs is equipped for this very thing.

We actually feel like God’s saying, “Hey, I put this dream and passion into you guys… but let’s spend some more time developing and growing the vision… and honestly, first, take the time to focus on your family. Your ministry and dreams will follow.” 

After a lot of thought and prayer, we feel YWAM Colorado Springs is where we will take the steps necessary to prepare us for our future. (Another cool thing about the base: Thailand is one of their focus nations!)

While in Amsterdam, we felt our eyes were opened to some vision in us in regards to family and a big eye opener was Chaseyboy, who really struggled and has struggled with every move. I know a part of that is age, but we also feel that a large factor is the constant change and inconsistencies. It’s time to plant some roots for the kiddos and to figure out some things in our personal lives (hi, vague!) and to beginning nailing down plans IN Thailand from afar.

Ted will be working mainly in the YWAM Colorado Springs communication department and also still work as a wedding photography with American Wedding Group and his own personal work.

I will still be at home with the kiddos, but will now have my hand in the homeschool co-op they run at YWAM Colorado Springs. I’m taking this summer and fall to decide if there is anything more I feel I should be a part of at the base – there is SO much opportunity there! Right now, I feel like my main “ministry” is my kids and learning how to navigate the parenting waters. So that’s what I’m focusing on currently.

We will be living on 2/3 our own income and 1/3 support. .

We feel so very hopeful for this season we’ve now entered. We haven’t shared “HEEEEY, WE’RE GOING BACK TO YWAM” probably due to fear of man. But we are now sharing… because it’s really happening … and you’ll find out soon anyways if you haven’t already … ;)

No really, tonight we are sharing because we are confident. We want to walk forward in confidence on the spirit He’s placed in us to decide THIS IS BEST for our family right now.

There has been an incredible doubt and fear in this step we’ve taken, leaving behind Ted’s very good paying job at the bank to join YWAM again. In some ways, the enemy has tempted us to view this as a step backwards – which it is NOT. I’m declaring it and sharing it :)

Anyways… a wordy blog to share an update and that life is PRECIOUS and time is fleeting.

Let’s push aside the unnecessary busy of our lives and focus on LIVING this precious life to the fullest – whatever that means to you or yours personally.!

Thank you for taking the time to read this novel.

Much love,

-J

 

 

 

 

Rise up, my Love.

We’re in quite a transition right now. I honestly have so much I want to say and want to share, but I am guarding my tongue. We both feel such an array of emotions right now that we’re trying to balance; controlling them when we need to yet feeling what we need to feel when the time is right.

I’ve really felt blessed lately watching spring rise up, even amidst the snow storms that have been trying to tear it down. I already love spring because there is such a beauty in the transformation of winter into spring. To me, this time it holds an even greater meaning because this time it portrays such a beautiful picture of transition. I feel like it is portraying exactly where Ted and I are right now.

Spring of 2006 I read this verse and it completely changed me and each spring since, I am reminded of this;

My beloved spoke, and said to me:
Rise up, my love, my fair one,
And come away.
For lo, the winter is past,
The rain is over
and gone.
The flowers appear on the earth;
The time of singing has come,
And the voice of the turtledove
Is heard in our land.
The fig tree puts forth her green figs,
And the vines
with the tender grapes
Give a
good smell.
Rise up, my love, my fair one,
And come away!
O my dove, in the clefts of the rock,
In the secret
places of the cliff,
Let me see your face,
Let me hear your voice;
For your voice
is sweet,
And your face
is lovely.

Song of Solomon 2:10-14

We are moving forward remembering this very thing; He is with us. Why should we live in fear? He has given us this dream, this vision. He is with us, calling us to rise up.

We are nervous, and yes sometimes frightened but mostly excited for the next step. We’re stepping out in such a huge way, leaving behind what we know to be comfortable to pursue photography and journalism. To pursue the dream God’s given us. We are feeling led in a different direction regarding training in photojournalism and when I am released to share, I will! Please pray for us for we are about to take the {biggest} leap yet!

I know we aren’t the only ones who have or who are walking through such a difficult transition. Any advice?


Eagle Rock.

It snowed last night. There is just something {beautiful} about untouched snow.

This picture reminds me of peace. It is so quiet, calm and peaceful here.

Ted told me a few weeks ago that the (W.I.S.E.) school he is working with, would be spending one week at our mountain campus. He asked if Chase and I would want to come. Of course I said yes to a week in the mountains! We are staying in a cute little cabin themed room, we are able to hang out with friends that are working our mountain campus this quarter (we miss them!) and a huge plus, we see Ted a lot more! We haven’t had the easiest time here though, but that’s for my next post.

See you tomorrow,

Jami

Legacy.

Two years ago today. Ted and I cannot believe it’s already been two years. This is one anniversary that is not anticipated with excitement. Today we (YWAM Denver community)  honoured their legacy by passing out roses with this little note attached. Ted and I joined a group of staff and headed to the Arvada Police Department to thank them for everything they did for us two years ago. It was actually very, very good for us both.
One thing we have battled each time this date rolls around, is fighting the good memouries with the awful ones. Allowing the fear, the memories, the flashbacks become our main focus of our “December 9th”. This year I truly felt in my heart a peace.
{One which surpasses all understanding}
I feel like I have finally laid down the “whys” and that I can remember as they were. I will dwell on the good memories throughout the year and choose to deal with things as they come up throughout the year.
In the moment it is a lot easier to shut down, but in the long run it’s detrimental to our ability to move forward. And we remember too, it’s not by our strength. We are not alone. He is with us. He surrounds us.

We will never forget this day, but most importantly we will never forget the legacy Phil and Tiffany left behind for it is one that is {unforgettable}!
{We remember.}
And we are challenged;
“What legacy will we leave behind?”

Big Change Ahead.

Our big news;

We are pursuing our heart to raise awareness and capture beauty through photography by first pursuing the School of Photography in Hawaii, January 2011.

As many of you may know, our plans for starting a photography school here in Denver fell through.
So what is next?

Our tentative plans;

We will leave staff here at YWAM Denver after our commitment is up in March. We will take time to say goodbye to friends and my family and then drive, yes drive, to Alaska. We will begin working right away. Ted will take on a full time job, as well as both of us working at his parent’s lodge in Seward.

I am hoping to find a job as a barista with flexible hours and/or selling things on Ebay.
And of course, first and foremost, be Chase’s momma!

Since, the school will cost us $5,000 for Ted to do the school, we will save money for the SOP (School of Photography) from April until December.

Please pray for us as this is a huge change, but one we truly feel like God is leading us in.
We are going for a dream. We believe we can do this.

October Update.

Happy Fall! I hope you are enjoying this beautiful season!

That is, if you have autumn where you are. :)
I hope this update finds you all doing really well and trusting Him in all things!
The Latest updates!
YWAM Denver:
We began our fall quarter welcoming 100+ students to the base. They are currently running two DTS programs; a Musicians DTS and a Young People’s DTS. (My 19-year-old sister is attending the YPDTS and is doing wonderfully!) They are also running a School of Worship, A Phase 2 leadership school, a Video Impact school and a School of Social Justice! Needless to say, the YWAM Denver base is quite packed and busy!
Photo School Proposal:
Two days after Chase was born we found out the 8 week school Ted had applied for in Amsterdam cancelled due to lack of housing, which was a huge disappointment but I believe this tops it off; the school proposal we put in fell through. We are very disappointed but we are moving forward. In the beginning we couldn’t help but begin to wonder if this was where we were meant to do this photography school when we shared with everyone and had very little support in it. We still believe God spoke to us and photography is in our future! Please pray for grace, strength and for us to continue to trust that we hear the voice of God and follow where He leads.
On Monday or Tuesday I will write again with more information on our next big step.
____________________________________________
Our Family of three.
Ted:
Ted is a Phase 2 small group leader, as well as leading worship at the base and at our church here, working the graphics department, doing an online college class for photography, doing yard work for money and being a new daddy. He is very, very busy right now and is doing okay. The thing that is uplifting him and keeping him going is his time with God in the mornings and spending time with Chase! Please pray for strength for him!
Jami:
I am running the childcare department, which isn’t much but it helps me feel involved. I love it because it still keeps me up to date and in community. I am also being a mommy, doing crafty things at home, learning to cook, journaling and photographing every milestone, blogging, finding great deals one everyday needs and letting other mom’s and YWAMers know of them. I am really trying to put my time to good use while at home and I am truly enjoying it more and more! And I absolutely adore being Chase’s mommy. He is precious and such a good lil boy.
Together:
We are enjoying being a family of 3. It has been quite a transition but one we wouldn’t change for the world! Also, we are praying about the new changes to come in the future. I will update on Monday or Tuesday about the specifics for everything is almost final now.
Chase Journey:
Such a joy and a gift from God! Growing, showing more and more personality, being precious. If you don’t already know, I love documenting every milestone and his funny expressions, etc. If you’d like to see photos you can go to jamiandbabybump.blogspot.com for more about him as he grows. His newest “milestone”, although early, is teething. The pain has begun, poor buddy!
__________________________________________
Prayer Requests:
  • Since the school of photography fell through, we’ve felt discouraged. We always try and pursue the dreams and vision God lays on our hearts and I feel like they always seem to come crashing down. We are excited to move forward, but we will need a lot of strength and trust in Him.
  • Balance in our time as a family and in ministry.
  • As we plan for the next BIG step as a family.
  • We need support. I am not talking just about financially even though we’ve lost a lot of support since March, but what we really, really need is people who believe in us, encourage us, challenge us, love us and want to see the best for us. Thank you if you already do so! We appreciate you and we need you more than you could ever know. Thank you!

To be honest, we are on the verge of becoming weary and need your prayers. We love being a family of three and we are finding a lot of joy in spending time together when we can, but we need more than that. We are ready and willing to do what God is calling us to. Getting there has been hard but we desire to follow Him, trust Him and know that His face is shining upon us even when things we think are His path seem to fade away. Please pray for us!
Thank You very much for taking the time to read this!
Be Blessed!!
Ted, Jami & Chase Davis

Jami Has A New Job!

Being Chase’s momma… well, and you are now looking at the new Childcare director for YWAM Denver. You may be thinking, “And you are excited about this?”. Yes I am!

Why? Because I have always had such a heart and a love for children and now I will be able to plan little fun times for the kids at the base and organize crafty fun things for them to do while at the base! Also, this is such a great way for me to ease back into working while being a first time mom. I will also be working in the communications department on the web as well. I don’t know my schedule yet, but I am planning to start working 3 mornings or afternoons a week and then working my way into full days or a half a day each day.
I am excited to get back into the community and being around people. It’s so funny I am saying that as an introverted person… but I really am excited!
Being a mom means my days are now so unpredictable, which I love and dislike at the same time (referring to the unpredictability and not motherhood)! This is the biggest responsibility that I have ever had. I was told this before Chase came, but I had no idea the extreme! You don’t realize how selfish you can be until you have a baby! I might have to sacrifice working everyday and being apart of the community all of the time, but I have such a beautiful son! He is worth every little and big sacrifice!
I am now rambling.
What about that great man in my life? He is a husband, a father and he is also working as a Phase 2 small group leader and as Project manager and in the graphics department! He is excited and thankful for the upcoming changes!
I will update sometime in October about the school we proposed about. We honestly don’t know anything more, but we are hoping to find out some things soon!

A Davis Family Update (Finally).

I think this will be brief because I am writing as Chase is beginning to wake up. Tomorrow is a busy day and that is why I must try and update now. And, it’s been a while! I’m sorry!


First, I wanted to share with you about what is going on in our ministry here in Denver and where God is leading us.

As we’ve shared in the ‘Stepping into the unknown Part 1 and 2’ (I sent an email a while ago, but you can also read about it on our blog) , we have proposed a school of photography here at YWAM Denver.
How is this coming along? Slowly but surely. It has been excepted as a school but it is looking like the first school running will be more of a communication school with the focus of photography and journalism instead of just a journalism and photography school (more details later).
How exciting huh? Yesterday we had a meeting to talk about the school and how to fit our vision with the corecurriculum to be a communication school, which is what we want. Kind of confusing and brief, but I wanted to update. It is exciting! Please keep praying for us as we begin to put the pieces together.
Also, pray for us in what we should name the school. 6 of us our brainstorming the layout, the name, the values and focuses, teachers, etc. We want to have the desire God has for this school! Please pray that we keep that as our main goal and in our hearts and our minds first!
Ted had found an amazing opportunity to do a school of photography in Amsterdam this October but that ended up falling through. It turns out they didn’t have enough housing. We found this out two days after we had Chase and now that we’ve had the time to think about it, we are totally bummed out but we know that God must have another plan for Ted to get the training that he needs!
Will you join us in praying for a way to get trained?
How are we doing as a family of three? Awesome! We love this little man so much already! It’s unbelievable how much love you can have for a little being! Wow! God is so good! He is healthy and beautiful.
(For all of you in the area) We are planning on making a trip up to GSBC soon! In September in fact. Ted leads worship every Sunday at our new church down here and we need to find a replacement for him for one Sunday and then up we come!
A personal prayer request from me (Jami)…
I am struggling to find time with God and time with my son and time with Ted. Time cleaning, eating right, etc. It’s a lot! I am mostly asking for prayer in my times with God. Being in YWAM is such a blessing but I am also surrounded by spiritual things 24/7. I am by no means saying this isn’t a blessing, for it truly is! I am just struggling now that I am at home most of the time and NOT surrounded by that. I am kind of learning all over again, how to find God in everyday living and the everyday things I do. I kind of feel like I am on outreach overseas! I don’t know if I make sense… but please will you pray for me?
Okay, I must run! Love you guys! Thank you for your loving support and prayers!
Jami

"Detours of a dream".

I’ve shared below, some of the things God is stirring up in us and leading us in, but we aren’t really seeing any movement forward. We are still waiting to hear from leadership here about the school we’ve proposed and the steps we need to take to get this started and we are even waiting to see if we will be apart of this in any way. It’s really difficult to not get worried or not to doubt that we heard God speaking.

During our staff meeting this week, a man came and spoke on the “Detours of a dream”. He spoke about how God had given Joseph a dream and how Joseph walked through many trials and detours before this dream was actually fulfilled. It was encouraging to remember this and to see God fulfill His promise. Now, I do not know if we are hitting a detour or just trials, but we definitely need your prayers.
Please pray for Ted and I to continue to seek after God’s heart in this dream and pursue what He is asking of us, even if it requires a lot of stepping out.
One last prayer request is for Ted. He has such a desire to work in the communication department and with every new quarter that rolls around he serves faithfully and whole heartily but never yet has been put in the communications department. In fact, if we are not leading an outreach or working a school, he has been in automotive or maintenance the entire time on staff. Somedays I ache so much for him to be where I am, because it’s not only his desire, but I know he would make the most out of the time. He would learn so much in video, photography, photoshop, web, etc. And he would help better things here at the base. I know this, because he is my husband and I really want others to see his heart and desire.
The thing about Ted is that he will serve wherever he is put and he does a great job. He is an excellent leader but sometimes his desires and true talents get over looked. Please pray for this opportunity to arise! He would be ecstatic!!

Week 34: Big baby, Small torso or Both?




Week 34- pics to come (I broke our shutter in our camera last week, so I need to use a friend’s camera to capture this weeks enormiousity– which is now a word, cuz it’s how I feel)


Baby E/C:
Baby now weighs about 4 3/4 pounds and is almost 18 inches long! His/Her fat layers — which will help regulate it’s body temperature once born — are filling him/her out, making baby rounder. Baby’s skin is also smoother than ever. His/her central nervous system is maturing and lungs are continuing to mature as well. I feel like our baby has been in crammed quarters for months now and it’s only to get worse as he/she gains 1/2 pound a week from here on out (or so they say).

I am constantly aware of where the baby’s feet, elbows, arms, hands, head and back are. One day last week (saturday), I was at my family’s new home in Timnath and I felt the baby push off side and totally flip. I don’t know how to describe it, my reaction said everything I think. I have never felt the baby move so intensely. In fact it went from head down to head at my right side, almost to my ribs. By the time I went to bed and felt the baby have it’s typical bouts of hiccups, I knew without a doubt, he/she was no longer head down. It was my most uncomfortable night’s sleep yet and I think for the baby too! He/she was so uncomfortable. Gosh, sometimes I feel just awful for baby! Either he/she is big or it’s just because my torso is so small or (and quite possibly, both). Either way, poor baby.

*Baby E/C moved back to it’s favourite and I’m guessing most comfortable, position. Head down, back and bum to my left side, feet and arms to my right. I am still waiting for that moment when Ted or I see the imprint of his/her little foot. It CAN happen and I wanna see it! I stand in front of the mirror when I feel a lot of action from within and wait, but nothing yet. Just random things poking out.*

Momma:
I am now sleeping less than before. Some nights are worse than others, but nothing unbearable yet. During the past few weeks, the pain in my back grows steadily worse, due to my enormous baby bump all out front. Part of me now wishes I would carry from side to side and not directly out front but it is cute for the pictures ;) I have also had a really hard time breathing. I am asthmatic and adding the growing baby pushing against my lungs has made my asthma really awful. I am thankful that it’s only been the past few weeks that I’ve begun to need my inhaler a few times a night. I’m just thankful it hasn’t been the entire pregnancy. I wake up some nights realizing I can barely breath and I hate imagining our baby being unable to breath as well! Please pray for our baby’s safety!

I do realize with each new week, new “ailment” and new excitement, this is all bringing me closer and closer to holding our baby girl or baby boy in my arms!

Have you ever heard/read the old wives tales about being pregnant with a girl or a boy?
According to those, I am having a girl. One of the wives tales about carrying a girl, is that she“steals your beauty”. I’m not talking about weight or anything like that. For me (if it’s a girl), her stealing my beauty has literally been my curly hair. Naturally I have curly hair- I mean somedays it’s really curly almost in ringlets. Since I’ve been pregnant, it is now simply wavy. It’s wavy whenever and wherever it pleases! Thankfully, I rarely ever wore my hair curly, because I didn’t like it curly. Ted loves it and so I would only wear it curly by his request. I hope it comes back curly after the baby is born, cause surprisingly I miss it! I’ve heard of women getting pregnant and having naturally straight hair go curly but never this! I’m not sure what happened in this pregnancy to strip me of my curliness!

Before I forget… number 2 of the 5 babies coming this season (here) has arrived!
Charles Brown Elijah Cobb III (He will be called Eli) was born yesterday morning; 7 lbs. 4 0z. and 21 inches long! That makes two 7lb baby boys born here in less than a week! Congrats Cobb Family! Three more of us to go, one of which we know is a boy, interesting huh? Look at all of these boys!

I am now the biggest among the 3 bellies left. In fact I am now convinced the director of our base, Peter, thinks I am due first and any day according to something he joked about in staff meeting this week. Haha! My belly feels like it goes out for miles, in fact it makes me DD chest look small and that says a lot! I am encouraged though… the mom who had baby number 1 last week, had an incredibly huge baby bump (even bigger than mine) and carried all out front as well. I saw her today with her little one in a sling (I can’t wait for that) and she looks amazing. It’s phenomenal to me how the stomach is just gone. I mean it’s there and saggy but 10x smaller! The saggy part is going to trip me out until it’s hard again, but we won’t talk about that now =)

I want to give CayeDee Rhoades props for figuring out our girl’s name yesterday. Seriously, I’m stillshocked and not exactly sure how she did this, but way to go CayeDee! She’s been trying to guess since we first became pregnant. Now, try and keep it a secret for 6ish more weeks!

A few little side notes before I go:
– I made another new poll (and deleted one). Check it out and vote!
– I made a “baby pool” for you to guess our baby’s arrival date, time, our baby’s size, etc. It’s to the right > and it says click here. (Idea from bump2bum)
– Last but not least… our 1st official baby shower is Sunday! I’ve already received some gifts and I feel more prepared with each one!

Baby E/C is coming soon!
Love yas,