Life · loss and heartache · mommahood

“So I let go and in this moment I can breathe.”

“It is the calm waterIn the middle of an anxious sea.Where heavy clouds part and the sunrise starts. A fire in the deepest part of me. {So I let go and in this moment, I can breathe.}”  – lyrics from Joy by Sleeping At Last I’ve felt a heaviness (not just physically ūüėČ) lately. One… Continue reading “So I let go and in this moment I can breathe.”

Jami Joann · Life · mommahood

Finding A Rhythm  

Yesterday by 7PM I realized, besides feeding him, I hadn’t actually held Atlas. I hadn’t soaked in his newborn squishy, soft sweetness. It wasn’t intentional, of course, but it broke my heart a little.  And then Ted captured this sweet moment where our Wonder-boy was wide awake and staring up at me. We both just… Continue reading Finding A Rhythm ¬†

Eisley Antalya · Life · loss and heartache · mommahood · Pregnancy

Mourning into Joy 

I have the honour of being a part of a series called mourning into joy stories started by Sharon McKeeman (@sharonmckeeman on instagram #mourningintojoystories). As I began to write, I realized that there was more I wanted to share than a few sentences on instagram hence this blog post. I feel like sharing my own… Continue reading Mourning into Joy¬†

Chase Journey · Life · mommahood · Shailo Valour

First Day of School 2015.

Chase started his first day of First Grade at the Lighthouse Homeschool Co-op September 13, 2015. And Shailo started Preschool at Little Lights Preschool on September 28th, 2015. How cute is his smile? haha! Love this boy! Chase was excited for his little brother to start! It was pretty stinkin’ cute!

Chase Journey · Everly Selah · loss and heartache · mommahood · Shailo Valour


¬†If you’ve ever been in Colorado during the winter season, you know that it can snow one day and melt the next. In fact, it often¬†snows and melts in the same day. True story. And also why I love Colorado: It may snow, but the sun isn’t too far behind.¬†However, with that sunshine means quickly… Continue reading Breakthrough.

Eisley Antalya · Life · loss and heartache · mommahood

The part where I gave up.

Until 2014, I have prided myself in being “adaptive”. ¬†5.5 years ago I had our first baby after what (at the time, before having lost a baby) I felt was the worst birth/labor ever., 14 months later we lost our Eisley-girl, 14 months after that¬†the birth of our surprise/gift Shailo, 28 months later we had… Continue reading The part where I gave up.

Eisley Antalya · Jami Joann · Life · loss and heartache · mommahood

Sharing Eisley (on sharing child loss)

This week Chase asked me about Eisley… again. His curious mind, wondering and trying to process things he either vaguely remembers, or things he’s heard and seen. Pictures, memorabilia, even the breakdowns I’ve had (that I can’t say¬†I’m overly proud of). I remember before I had her as the fear of losing her became greater… Continue reading Sharing Eisley (on sharing child loss)

Life · mommahood · Pregnancy

Preparing for Baby E.S.

I thought I’d do a much overdue post about our little lady… Our sweet girl is a little less than 25 days away from being in our arms! I am officially scheduled to have her (via C-section) February 28th, 7:30 am! (these photos of E.S we’re taken at an appointment in Amsterdam right before we… Continue reading Preparing for Baby E.S.

Life · mommahood · Pregnancy

Boy, girl, boy…?! (a gender reveal)

You’ve asked and here it FINALLY is… our gender reveal photoshoot! Sneak peek … (also, one of my faves of the day) GIRL!!! I’m beyond thrilled.¬† Such a Chaseyboy face haha Baby sister E.S.D (you know me, the name is gunna stay a secret til she’s here) is coming March 1, 2014!! Our pregnancy with… Continue reading Boy, girl, boy…?! (a gender reveal)