A Handmade Thanksgiving; {free} fall printables!
Lately I’ve found {many} new inspirational websites and blogs (soon to update my ‘Inspiration’ page, stay tuned). My folder of diy projects and home decor projects is getting huge and makes me {super} anxious/excited for us to get our own home!
One of recent blog find is an incredibly crafty momma at Craftily Ever After. She’s been making different versions of the ‘Keep Calm and Carry On’ posters and they are free to print! Find an unused frame you have lying around (if you’re like us) and print one (or all) of ’em for the last few weeks of fall!
Click here to print ‘Keep Calm and Gobble On’, and here to print ‘Gather here with grateful hearts’ and here to print ‘Keep Calm and Cranberry On’.
I also found this amazing free printable on The Vintage Dutch Girl
Cute and free :)
Tomorrow my Ted and our camera is back! I will be posting photos of a few fall projects (I ended up using my grandma’s point & shoot because I wanted to take step by step pics) and posting them sometime tomorrow!
My hope in posting ‘A Handmade Thanksgiving’ is that you’re inspired to create too!
{Believing} “Spring Will Come”
This photo couldn’t be more perfect, really. I took this In April, before I knew I was actually expecting our precious Eisley. The ‘believe’ inspired me and ended up being a real encouragment to me during our journey with Eisley. Now, I think I need this reminder more than ever before.
I need to {believe} in a lot of areas right now. We’re really struggling. There is so much going on right now, I just feel like my world is spinning out of control. I feel like there is very little stability. I feel overwhelmed, burdened, defeated, etc. Ted and I both.
I just found out this week that “God doesn’t give you more than you can handle” isn’t actually biblical. Do you know how {relieved} I was to hear that? I cried actually and I still could. There is so much going on right now that is “too much” and is more than I can handle.
The loss of Eisley overwhelms me so much that sometimes I can’t find the words to speak when someone asks how I’m doing and I lie; “I’m good”. It overwhelms me so much that I pound my fist into the steering wheel and let the hot tears fall. It overwhelms me to the point where I need to walk into my room, close the door and let a good scream and sob out into my pillow. It overwhelms me so much that I can’t sleep at night without the aid of a sleeping pill. I find myself overwhelmed with grief over and over again as I read/hear people complain about something in their life that I would give anything for or when I read/hear of something I miss or long to have.
I’m overwhelmed with so much right now. Ted and I are trying to remember that things will begin to look up in our lives.
Right now it’s fall here in Colorado and all of the magnificant auburns, oranges and yellows are beginning to fade into this ugly brown and dreary skies are beginning to roll in. The sun sets much earlier than my heart would like. It’s becoming so ugly and depressing and this isn’t even the beginning of winter yet. I find myself constantly thinking “Spring will come, Darling, Spring will come” a word God gave me when I was in a dark season in my past. My spring came then… and I {believe} our spring will come again.
My beloved spoke and said to me,
“Arise, my darling,
my beautiful one, come with me.
11 See! The winter is past;
the rains are over and gone.
12 Flowers appear on the earth;
the season of singing has come,
the cooing of doves
is heard in our land.
13 The fig tree forms its early fruit;
the blossoming vines spread their fragrance.
Arise, come, my darling;
my beautiful one, come with me.”Song of Solomon 2:10-13
Right now I’m believing with everything in me that our “spring will come” and clinging to that.
A Handmade Thanksgiving 2; corn husk wreath.
Corn husk wreath. So typically if I were to hear of a corn husk wreath, I’d probably picture something really ugly or maybe super cheesy…but this turned out so pretty. It’s a modern twist- or at least I think so.( I found this idea on this super awesome crafty called How Does She?. For the tutorial click here!)
Supplies you’ll need:
- 1 foam wreath (dollar store)
- HOT GLUE GUN – i used a hot glue gun instead of pins because i made it with pins first and it didn’t work for me!
- 1 8 oz pkg of corn husk (walmart, by the Mexican food)
- paint (optional- i added a deep eggplant purple to mine)
30 days of {truth} (3)
Tonight, I’m playing a little catch up on the 30 days of {truth} challenge.
Day 13: A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough days.
Welp… the tough days are definetly here right now and I’ve been listening a lot to ‘Your Hands’ by JJ Heller and Mumford and Sons (especially ‘After the Storm’).
Day 14: A hero that has let you down.
This might be a little controversial, not because I’m trying to be…I really hope it’s not. I actually looked up the definition and to “let someone down” means to “fail to support”. So I am going to change it up a little bit because my hero hasn’t let me down but has disappointed me.
So…”A hero that has disappointed you”
Here is the my {truth}.
The hero who has disappointed me is my God. Let me first say, He is my hero still. He will always be my saviour and my hero forevermore. But the {truth} is that sometimes I feel so disappointed by Him.
Right now I feel so disappointed that my Eisley-girl isn’t here in my arms. That her little heart stopped beating. I am disappointed that the healing I prayed so deeply for, didn’t happen in the way I hoped it would. I feel disappointed that I don’t get to see her smile, hear her laugh, feel her kisses, etc.
I’m deeply disappointed and He’s knows this, He’s heard my cries. Thankfully He can handle hearing my cries of confusion, of anger and of disappointment.
He disappoints sometimes, in the things I hope for, but He’s never let me go. He’s never even “let me down” and “failed to support” me.
One of the things I have learned throughout everything we’ve gone through with Eisley (not saying He did this to teach me a lesson), something that before I never understood, is that even in our deepest sorrow and disappointment He is still trustworthy.
I believe, even with my broken heart, that this is the {truth}.
Father, You are still trustworthy.
Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. 2 Cor. 14:16-18
A Handmade Thanksgiving 1; a thankful foundation.
Today starts the beginning of “a handmade Thanksgiving” as I’m calling it. I will be posting simple and affordable DIY projects over the next few weeks. I hope you feel inspired.
I thought this would be a great place to start; a creative idea which inspires us to remember to be thankful and grateful. As I researched quotes for this post, I found myself suddenly aware of how much I have to be thankful for. I am truly blessed. I can guarantee you are too. Of course there are things I wish could be different however when I paused and look inside and around me… I realized, even despite our loss, we are so blessed. We were are blessed to even get the honour of knowing our Eisley-girl and the time we had with her. Tonight, I feel overwhelmed as I realize how blessed we truly are.
I found this really inspiring idea (on Country Living) to write each guest (which could just be family, depending on your plans) a quote relating to thankfulness, gratefulness, etc and have each guest read aloud their quote (or just keep it). Use creative writing to write the quote on a thin strip of paper and then use double-sided take to tape it to their glass. Or make a little card and place it on their plate.
Here are some quotes I found that I really liked and you might too;
For each new morning with its light,
For rest and shelter of the night,
For health and food, for love and friends,
For everything Thy goodness sends.
~Ralph Waldo Emerson
Not what we say about our blessings, but how we use them, is the true measure of our thanksgiving. ~W.T. Purkiser
If you want to turn your life around, try thankfulness. It will change your life mightily. ~Gerald Good
“As each day comes to us refreshed and anew, so does my gratitude renew itself daily. The breaking of the sun over the horizon is my grateful heart dawning upon a blessed world. ” — Adabella Radici
Gratitude is the fairest blossom which springs from the soul. ~Henry Ward Beecher
Seeds of discouragement will not grow in the thankful heart.–Anonymous
Stayed tuned for a lot more DIY projects coming soon; centerpieces, garland, place settings, etc, etc, etc!
An {awe}some story and reminder.
I have an incredible story to share with you about this little Eisley Necklace
For Mother’s Day this year Ted bought me the above necklace with charms of Chase’s name and one with our initials and wedding date. I knew I wanted to add Eisley to my necklace when I came home from the hospital so I searched and found the one I wanted. I showed only Ted and a few family members and they all agreed, it was perfect! I wrote the The Vintage Pearl and asked them if they could please make me a charm of an angel wing with Eisley’s name on it. I waited and waited but heard nothing back (and still haven’t).
Not long after I had lost Eisley, my friend Sami (who I met while going through everything with Eisley) wrote me and told me she had something being sent my way but didn’t tell me anything about what it was. 5 weeks after having Eisley, she messaged me and told me “they” had emailed her and my gift was on its way and that she hoped it came in the perfect timing. I thanked her and she told me to thank God because He had totally laid it on her heart which made me even more curious!
So, then comes the day of my follow-up appointment. I was in Arvada, standing in the Target parking lot and Ted calls me and says “Hey your charm came in the mail today!” I asked him what charm? And he told me, “the one of the wing with Eisley’s name on it”. “But I didn’t even order it yet!” I told him I hadn’t heard back from the Vintage Pearl. We were confused and I told him I would check my paypal when I got home to see if I did order it and just forgot. My mind has been kind of jumbled lately, so it was totally possible. Ted and I talked about other possibilities, like maybe when I told the vintage pearl to make the necklace, they just went ahead and sent it. We briefly talked about the possibility that maybe this was what Sami had sent, but we were like “there’s no way” because it was exactly what I had asked for and she didn’t even know that.
When I finally made it home that evening, he showed me the charm and it just took my breath away. It was stunning and everything I hoped it would be… but I still was confused on how it came about. So I checked my paypal account and saw that I didn’t buy anything from the vintage pearl. I checked my email to see if maybe I had missed an email from them; nothing. Because it was the very necklace I had written them about, I just assumed that they had gone ahead and sent it to me. Maybe it was a mistake and they didn’t realize I hadn’t paid? I decided before I wrote them I probably should write Sami to ask if this is what she’d bought me even though I still was thinking “there is just no way”. This was our conversation;
Me: Hey girl! I recieved a vintage pearl charm in the mail today. Is that from you?
Sami: Hope it came in the perfect moment. Just read your tweet about Eisleys tests. I’m sorry….
Me: Is it a charm with an angel wing and eisley’s name on it? I’m sorry, this will make sense in a minute I promise!
Sami: Yeppers!!! It should have came with a necklace and a little pearl too. Let me know if it didn’t :)
I read her reply and put my hand over my mouth and began to cry. I just couldn’t believe it. I told Ted and we were both just dumbfounded. This was our God. He wanted to let us know “I’m still here with you”. He knew we needed this and most importantly that we needed to be reminded that He was still with us…. and the fact that it came to us the very day of our follow-up appointment…I’m in awe! This was our God. How else could this be explained? Some might say coincidence but I say this is truly God.
I like the way my friend Sami put it;
“Psalm 34:18 “He IS close to the brokenhearted…and saves those that are crushed in spirit.” I am so humbled and so thankful that it was beyond what I even knew. I cannot fathom that it was the exact necklace you had desired. God is so good…even in the pain. He IS near you. He IS holding you. It doesn’t take the pain away, but somehow the peace will carry you. Everytime you look at that necklace it can be a reminder of your love for Eisley and His love for the both of you.”
The story actually got even more incredible. Sami told me ”You have no idea how long ago this plan was put into motion by Him” because she had actually spent the past few months trying to buy a charm for her necklace with a gift card but everytime she went to buy it, she would either get distracted or it would freeze up. She told me that one night put all her information in to order the charm but got distracted and when she came back her husband had accidently closed out of it. She decided to try again later and went to bed and felt God told her “EISLEY… it’s not for you… it’s for Jami”. When she went to order it she almost did 2 day shipping but her friend told her to send it normally and it would arrive at the right time.
And boy did it ever. The very day of my follow-up appointment?! Thank you God.
Whenever I wear this necklace (which is often) I will think of my precious Eisley-girl and I will also remember the story of how this necklace came to be and that He is still with us, even when it doesn’t feel like He is. He’s still with us in our broken state and in our pain.
Tiny imprints, {huge} impact.
One of the most precious things I have of my Eisley-girl…
Her perfect little footprints.
Ready to have your breath taken away?
Her tiny little imprints have made such a {huge} impact on my heart forevermore.
(I am doing something really beautiful with her little footprints for this very reason. More coming oh so soon.)
The “F” word (not what you think).
Tonight I can’t sleep for many reasons but the main one is that I can’t stop thinking about the f word.
Funeral home.
The place I sometimes passed on a drive here or there but never imagined I would someday be walking into to plan the burial of my daughter. Today marks 6 weeks since we have birth to Eisley and we have yet to burry her.Yep, you heard right. Part of the reason F word is always on my mind because our daughter is still there. We have yet to even buy a plot and I’m reminded of that every day because we live a few blocks from the cemetery where she will be burried. I can’t even bring myself to call and make the final arrangements for her burial and honestly I think it’s for that very reason. Final arrangements seems so official.
She is gone.
We are reminded of this everyday and yet sometimes it still stuns me that this is our reality. She is gone. I don’t want to watch them put her in the ground because it feels so awful even thinking about it.
The other reason the F word is still on my mind is because they are going to call us any day now and tell us we need to come and get her body or we need to buy a plot and get it over with. Of course, they will probably not be so direct and blunt as I just was, but that’s pretty much the jist of it.
The first time we walked into the funeral home, they had no idea who we were. There was a mix up and somehow a different Alnutt Funeral Home had all of our information. It took so much to muster enough strength for us to even walk through their front doors and then they didn’t even know who we were or why we were there.
The second time we went in, just a few days later, they had us sit in a room with a really nice lady and fill out a bunch of paper work. When she asked me the name of my daughter and how to spell it, I made it through E-I-S-L-E-Y and by the time I got to her middle name I couldn’t even speak. I just kept thinking, “this isn’t happening” although clearly it was. After the paperwork came the hardest part… picking out an urn to put our daughter in. She handed us a booklet with a bunch of different urns. All of them just looked so awful. Like death. Like I was in a funeral home picking out an urn. As we were looking through the choices, she told us that she knew of a few really pretty ones and ran and grabbed another book.
Ted and I both just really wanted to get out of there quickly, but we had both talked prior to coming in, about picking out a beautiful urn so we waited. When she came back we flipped through the pages and Ted stopped and pointed to a beautiful pink and black coloured urn with a flower on the front of it and said, “That one. It reminds me of you.” We’ve talked about how Eisley probably would have been a lot like me so that one just felt so perfect. That might sound weird, picking out a “beautiful” urn and I can’t really, honestly find the words to explain why but it helped a little.
Walking out of the funeral home was a relief and an incredibly sickening feeling all at the same time. It all just seems so official. And to think of burrying her… I can’t even go there. It’s going to take the same strength to burry her as it was to walk into the funeral home the first time… and then again the second time. The same strength it took to go through 3 days of labor (and I don’t mean physical strength), the strength it takes to get up everyday, the strength it takes to get out of the house, the same strength it took for me to go to my follow up appointment, etc, etc, etc…
I feel like we’re in a valley right now, where the sun can’t shine because it’s so deep. It feels so lonely and dark and scary because there are a lot of unknowns behind and ahead of us. Along the way we’ve stumbled again and again at the painful reminders that she is gone and sometimes it takes us a day or two or more to get back up. But I know, deep inside, that if we can keep moving forward, our feet will once again walk upon ground where the sun is shining bright.
our new health blog & a small victory
Today I created a new blog called Our journey to health where I will post about our journey as a family to a holisitc approach to health. We’re starting from scratch though and we need your help. If you have advice, please comment on our health blog. Thank you much :)
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I also just really wanted to share… remember The Paper Mama Photo Challenge; Fall I entered?! Well my photo was picked as #2 in the top 5!
Check it out here and be sure to check out the #1 photo too, it’s so awesome. I was just really excited and had to share with you all :) It actually really was an encouragment to me that day I found out. It brightened my day.
30 days of {truth} (2)
Day 5: Something you hope to do in your life.
There are many things, so I will just go with the first that popped in my mind when I read this question. You might be tired of hearing me talk about Eisley, but right now she’s always on my mind/heart and this is my reality… I just hope you understand and bear with me.
I hope to be a “voice for my daughter and to use what I have walked through to bring others to Him” (‘I Will Carry You’ by Angie Smith). Honestly, I’ve been really down and out lately. I know that I can still be her voice, even in this state that I’m in, but what I desire is to carry on her voice and her legacy and to be inspired to live life to the fullest. I hope to be inspired every day by how much she touched my life.
When I found out I was pregnant with Eisley, I was so inspired to do all of these things I had been hoping to learn. Her little life inspired me from early on. I signed up for an online sewing class, I began a new art journal, I made a list of goals that I wanted to accomplish by the time I am 25 (25 by 25 list), I had begun learning to cook healthy meals, etc.( When I was pregnant with Chase there were specific things that inspired me as well, but they were a different set of inspirations then that with Eisley.)
Carrying a life inside inspired me to really live to the fullest and I guess what I am trying to say is that how Eisley inspired me, even before I felt her within me, when I was pregnant with her… I want to continue in that. I want to be inspired by her life even though she isn’t in my arms. She has changed my life forever and I hope to carry on her legacy, to be her voice and to be inspired every day by how much she touched my life.
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Day 6: Something you hope you never have to do.
Lose another precious child.
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Day 7: Someone who has made your life worth living for.
From the beginning, my mom has truly taught me so much about life and how to keep pressing on “despite”. My mom was 6 months pregnant with me when she lost my dad. She’s walked through SO much in her life and she has taught me so much in my 23 years. Where so many people would have given up, she pressed on. Now as I’ve walked through losing my daughter, she has been beside me throughout everything, encouraging me and helping me rememeber that life is still worth living for. My mom has “made my life worth living for” by teaching and showing me that no matter what might happen, life IS still worth living and pressing into.
There are manypeople that God keeps placing people in my life and each of them inspire me in different ways. So many loved ones… and I know the list will grow as I grow older. :)
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You can read more about this 30 days of truth challenge and what it’s all about here. I actually won’t be doing days 8-10 for personal reasons but I will be posting days 11+ sometime later this week :)
