Now on…
Hi friends,
Don’t worry, this is a much (much, much, MUCH) lighter post than the last one!
I wanted to let you all know that I have opened up a facebook page for my blog;
if ya want :) or just click the facebook link over ——–>there.
And one for my Etsy store also called ‘Colour Her {Hope}’;
One of my dearest friends has a pretty rad husband who designed my Etsy store banner for me!! You should check out his designs or click the little button Stack Imaging ——> over there.
My store officially opens up on March 16, 2011! Stay tuned. More about the store, my main hope/reason behind the store and the meaning of the name, soon! I am SO excited to share everything with you!!
I also joined Bloglovin’ today. If you read more then a few blogs, then I definitely recommend this site! (Ted lovingly informed me that this is “so 5 years ago” because of rss feeds ;) haha, well BLOGLOVIN’ is a new treasure to me.) Check it out and follow me here if you want!
{love}, Jami
Come on, come on, come on…
When she came her family was there
And all her things were neatly prepared
When the moment came I was scared
If I look at her I’ll break down
If I don’t she’ll know it somehow
When she came there wasn’t a sound
Come on, come on, come on
Come on, come on, come on
Come on come on, come on
Listen for the beat of her heart
Listen as your plans fall apart
Listen but there’s nothing there
When you lose what you never had
Left with impossible plans
Listen in but you can’t hear
We knew that this could happen
I feel the distance creeping
One there in my position
Moving against my fingers
Against my human nature
Come on, come on, come on
Come on, come on, come on
Come on, come on, come on
Are you through with punishing me
I thought that you would at least
Give what you promised me
Are you through with punishing me
I thought that you would at least
Give what you promised me
What would a father say
He would say to come right home
What would a father do
He would try to comfort to you
What would a father say
He would say to come right home
What would a father do…
When she came her family was there
And all her things were neatly prepared
When the moment came I was scared
If I look at her I’ll break down
If I don’t she’ll know it somehow
When she came there wasn’t a sound
Come on, come on, come on
Should have done something
Marot – by Meese
A friend gave Ted and I this song after we lost Eisley. Written by a father that had lost their daughter Margot. When I first heard it I weeped. “Come on, come on, come on”. Two words that speak volumes to me. I cry even now. My heart hoped and longed for her heartbeat to be found. Oh Eisley-girl, “Come on, come on, come on”…
Today we brought Eisley’s ashes home from the funeral home. I keep thinking “This isn’t the way it’s supposed to be.” And it’s not. My heart and my mind still aren’t connected the dots. Four and a half months in and still, it’s so very hard to accept. It’s my reality every single second of every day and even still…
I long, hope, “Come on, come on, come on”… and ache when the reality strikes again and again and again.
No more words… just an aching heart asking for your thoughts/prayers.
Thrifted Treasures {2}
(I actually wrote this post yesterday, so I’m just going to post it today. I don’t really have the strength to re-write it, so here we go :))
Today, we thrifted! This past week I’ve hit up the Fort Collins Thrift stores, all except one (that I know of). I decided to start doing “Thrifted Treasure” posts to share my finds and to hopefully inspire you to shop at your local thrift stores! I always love to see what others find a treasure! You’d be amazed at what you can find, but sometimes it just takes time. And sometimes it takes going in with a plan for what you want. My biggest struggle with thrift shopping is the moment I walk in I begin wondering how I could use, or what I could create, with such and such and sometimes have way too much in my cart when I go to pay and have to sort through what to keep and what treasure to leave for someone else to find. Oh the pain of being a thriftaholic ;)
Here are a few of my newfound treasures!
Fabric! All but the teal checkered one will be repurposed and sold on my Colour Her {Hope} Etsy store. The teal one will be made into something lovely for our (soon to be) home!
Ugly frames to be repurposed, definitely painted. :)
Mugs to paint and sell!
I’ve slowly collected vintage books and toys for our the kid’s room. Bittersweet, but I am still going to use the theme I had planned for Chase and Eisley. All things vintage, thrifted, and handmade.
Wreaths to create for my Esty shop.
Beautiful large {eclectic} rug! (My biggest spend; $10) This photo doesn’t do this rug justice, but it is a faded red, almost pink colour which I love. Ted did too!
Amazing… I will definitely change the colour of these to pink/teal balloons with white strings and hang them in our kid’s room. (My 2nd big spend; $6, worth every penny)
Now, my absolute, favourite treasure of the day;
I {gasped} when I saw these tiny pink baby girl converse. If you’ve followed our journey, when I was pregnant with my sweet Eisley, then you know, this was apart of one tiny dream I had.
{love}
It makes my heart ache a bit, but also remember how I felt when I was pregnant with my Eisley-girl, my precious time with her. I can’t decide what to do with these exactly but they will go in the kid’s room as well. A whopping $1.50, my last and best find of the day.
We’ve begun our search (again) for a new home for our little family!!! I am so excited about decorating our home!! I have this little dream in my head and my hope and vision is a handmade, vintage, eclectic home! Thrifting helps all of the above. :) Pray we find a home soon? We are in need of a fresh start.
(Edit from today; Another prayer request; Please keep up in your thoughts/prayers tomorrow? It’s hard for me to even say aloud (or type) what we’re doing tomorrow, I will just say it will be a very hard day for us. )
DIY Recipe Box.
Super cheap, easy, cute and practical DIY for yourself or as a gift! (mine is for me ;))
Supplies used;
Little wooden box – I got mine from a thrift store, but you can get one at a hobby store for cheap :)
paint
modge podge
sponge/paint brush
paper
stickers (I used my Cricut to cut out what I wanted, if you see one on sale, or if you have a birthday coming up, TOTALLY recommed!)
How to DIY;
-paint it the colour of your choice.
-measure and cut the paper to fit sections BEFORE you modge podge them :)
-add modge podge, one section at a time
-place paper {carefully} on the glue, but start at either top or bottom first and carefully rub it down and push any bubbles, that may or may not appear, out.
-let it dry (20-30 min)
-place one coat on top and let it dry
-(optional) add stickers (or vinyl)
This was seriously so simple! Hope you’re inspired to {create}!
much love, Jami
WE.
The past week has been especially difficult in the Davis household. Reality sets in more and more each day and with each reminder that our Eisley-girl is gone, I grow weary. I originally popped on to write a post, venting in a most unhealthy kinda way about reminders and things are bringing me down. But I just can’t… I can’t go there and what’s the point but to bring me down further. So instead I decided to share, first a verse, then a little bit about how WE are (you’ll understand the need for caps soon) and then (the FUN stuff) in the a DIY project I’ve been meaning to share with you.
A few nights ago I was desperate for a word I could cling to. I typed in “sorrow, grief, tears, loss,” etc, into a search button on Ted’s ipad Bible app. I stumbled across these verses in Micah.
We’re clinging to Him, to {hope}.
(call me cheesy, but rainbows do always remind me of hope and promise. We woke one morning to this!)
We’re holding on to a few promises we feel He’s given us.
To be honest, it has been so very rough between Ted and I, since we’ve lost Eisley. ”They” say it is the most difficult thing that a couple can go through, the loss of a child. The statistics of divorce after the loss of a child are ASTOUNDING. I can actually see how that could happen, not that I think it is right. You can very easily disconnect from one another because you don’t know how to be there for each other as you are BOTH grieving. You feel at a loss for how to be there or even encourage each other, most of the time. To say “it’s been rough” for us is a huge understatement. You might have noticed that I didn’t talk a lot about Ted since we’ve lost our girl. I wanted to respect where he was at and not share his personal life like I share mine with you all.
Side note: It might be confusing to some, why I share so much. I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that I shared our journey before we lost Eisley and I want to share our journey as we grieve as well. I write to process (in my journal) but I share some things “aloud” (blog) also from advice for those who’ve walked this road before us, also for encouragement and to know we aren’t alone, also a mixture of hoping that Eisley’s life and story and our journey will touch someone or help someone. And I think, if I’m compltely honest, a bit of why I write and process for all to see, is because I am afraid of people forgetting Eisley.
Whoa, side track. Back to Ted and I…We’re both the weakest we’ve ever been and it’s hard to have strength to be strong for one another, so lately we realized, that is okay. We are super weak, broken, sorting through shattered dreams, clinging to hope but we’re all of these things {together}. We’ve recently started walking together and it is so healing. That might seem confusing, why would we just now start walking together? It’s hard to explain. You’ve heard it said that “men and women grieve differently”. it. is. so. very. true. However, we’re learning that we grieve differently, yes, but not seperately.
And we’re now we’re seeking counsel to help us walk through this season. For the first time in my life, I really want to see a counselor. There is so much to process and walk through, things that I’ve avoided that I need to face, truama I need to process with someone who is not grieving as well. I’ve put a LOT on Ted that hasn’t helped him in his grieving, so this will be so healing for us both.
Ted, I love you and am so thankful you’re the one by my side. WE are not giving up.
(on a fun note; DIY Recipe box on next post)
Chasey-boy, one and a half.
To my Chasey-boy,
(pic; newborn)
Today you are one and a half. Time is truly flying by. It feels like just yesterday I waddled into the hospital, 9 days past your due date, then went through 42 long hours of labor only to have you by c-section, (I should have known then that you were a tiny bit stubborn, like your daddy, hehe). I remember the moment when Dr. Hill said, “It’s a boy” and how very pleasantly surprised I was, “I have a son, I have a son” about 100 times according to your “Gram Gram” (bowker). I remember the very first time I saw you, as Dr. H popped your head over the blue curtain to say “Hi mom”. I remember thinking “HE IS SO HUGE!”. Because we were immediately wheeled away from each other, I thought maybe my eyes had fooled me. But the next day when I “came to” and your daddy showed me your birth certificate with your HUGE footprints and read your weight, I couldn’t believe it. I had a giant baby! I was so shocked that my 5’1 frame had an 8lb 15oz boy, whew!
(pic; 2 months old)
I loved every single bit of you from the moment I laid eyes on you. Your personality shown through with each passing month and before we knew it , here we are, 18 months in and you are quite the character! I see bits of me in you, bits of your daddy and a lot that is just Chasey-boy.
(pic; 13 months old)
You are joyful, funny, determined, a tad LOUD, tough, sensitive, imaginative, driven, smart, slightly stubborn ;)… you are so many things all pieced together into our {incredible} little 1 1/2-year-old boy.
(pic; 15 months old)
You absolutely LOVE dinosaurs. It was your first real obsession. You have a mighty little roar which I adore!
Now we’re moving on to trucks. You go to bed and wake up with trucks on your mind. You get SO excited whenever you see or hear a truck (even if it’s on your shirt), which your daddy and I find super cute. You. are. such. a. boy.
You love to eat “klo klo” and “gin gin’s” dog food. I catch you chomping on it often. It’s currently our biggest battle ;)
(pic; 14 months old)
Did I mention you are VERY goofy? Because you are. You have us laughing A LOT. I even hear you chatting away and then laugh at yourself on occasion. So cute, so funny! You are such a joy!
You still drink from a bottle when you go to bed. Momma hasn’t had the strength to fight that battle yet, but soon!
(pic; 17 months)
You enjoy creating when momma creates which I love. I often have to find ways to keep you feeling like you are helping me. It gets much easier as you get older and makes me so excited to think of all of the things we will create!
You completely hate footed jammies and dislike socks unless you’re wearing shoes. You also fall asleep with a blanket on everything but your feet and if for some reason the blanket should touch your cute little toesies…whew!
(pic: 17 months, notice wet sleeve)
You also really don’t like things on your wrists and if i dress you in a long sleeve shirt, it bothers you for the first few minutes. I’ve learned I MUST roll them up or you chew on them to get them off ;) You are quite the quirky little guy!
You are a warm body. Just like your daddy. You get hot so easily that you can usually be found wearing only a diaper.
(pic; 12 months old)
You climb on everything. Momma, daddy, coffee table, couch, chairs, boxes, etc. You are quite the daredevil. You have momma on her toes all of the time.
You enjoy giving “buffalo kisses” and often lick my cheeks more than you kiss them :)
This (above) is a daily occurrence as well. Talking on the phone (or snow globe, or fridge magnet, etc). Usually to your Auntie “Aba” and you usually are telling “her” that you love her. It’s so, so cute.
You are constantly amazing us with the things you learn. You inspire me as you still see the endless possibilities in everything you do.
(pic; a few days ago)
Dancing and singing are a must in your day. You’re songs are simply adorable. You are the silliest, funniest, and a surprisingly amazing, little dancer. Your rhythm and how you dance to the beat often astounds us! You are so your daddy’s son (music) and get your sweet moves from your god-mommy. (Wish I could say your momma, but that would be a lie. ;))
(pic; 16 months old)
You don’t walk you run. Which makes the wipe outs especially hard sometimes.
You finally, finally, finally have “lots” of hair or at least a lot for you ;)
You are soooooo sweet. You’re very sensitive (like momma) which works in your favor most times. You snuggle me and cuddle me, that hasn’t really changed much in your growing. I am so thankful for that, especially right now. You are so precious and such a joy.
It’s been 18 months and you still love when we sing “You are my sunshine” at bed time, only now you sing along with us and even pause to wipe mommy’s tears.
You’ve walked with us through losing your baby sister, and even though you don’t understand everything, you understand some things. You point to her picture on the wall and blink your eyes. I think it’s because when we tried to teach you to say “Eisley” you thought we meant “eyes” and would blink your eyes. I think it’s adorable. You are truly a great big brother.
(pic; 16 months)
There are so many things that make you YOU. The one and only, {Chase Journey Davis}.
We are so thankful for you, little man.
Happy year and a half!
four months; the weakest.
(my view, everyday)
Today marks four months since we held our baby girl and said our goodbyes. My arms still ache to have her in them, I think they might always when I think of her. Time is flying by, reality has truly set in, and we’ve barely begun to process everything. Ted and I were talking about the past four months, trying to process the time that has passed without her and it’s truly inexplicable.
I write, and write, and write and although it’s definitely helped me process I still feel at a loss. Maybe because there is just so much.
The loss of Eisley has broken me (us) in ways like never before. Shaken me and raised up new fears in me. Brought me to feelings of despair and hopelessness. And worst of all, shattered some of our most precious hopes and dreams for our Eisley-girl, for our life with her.
Yes, to all of the above, a thousand times yes.
Yet… (and this is what I am clinging to right now)
I’m trying to cling to what her life has taught me. What her short, precious time with me meant to me. I’m clinging to how she inspired me to live as I carried her in my womb.
Finding that inspiration is harder when I can’t feel her within me anymore, when I don’t have her in my arms. It’s much, much, much harder. Four months and I feel my weakest. I guess I thought that last month too, yet here we are. To be honest, there are some days it’s a fight to get out of bed. I eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat – unfortunately, I’m a comfort good kinda girl.
But I can’t give up. I want to carry on Eisley’s legacy, be her voice. I long to let Chase know that even though you walk through such treacherous times, there is still hope.
Our Father is still trustworthy.
Life it still worth living.
Cliche, maybe so, but the {truth} that we’re clinging to right now.
(This little man… whew… he helps me a lot right now. His shirt “Mom’s #1 Champ” is so so fitting.)
I watch children in the nursery at our church and there is a baby boy that comes in occasionally. Chase seems like such a big boy around this little one, comforting him as he cries for his momma, leaning in to hug him and say “aww” and comfort him in the best way an 18-month-old can :) It’s so precious and I can’t help but think of how he would have been with his baby sister… I can’t really even express the pain I feel when I think about it.
There is so much pain and aching right now….yet one thing I have realized amidst everything we have and are walking through now… we are broken, shattered, crushed… but not beyond hope.
There is still hope.
Thank you Jesus for {hope}.
Project ReStyle {01}
I am joining in with A Beautiful Mess and Smile and Wave. in their newly created ‘Project ReStyle’ where you take things that aren’t super awesome and you ReStyle them into amazing treasures!
As I was thinking about what to post, I realized, I already do this quite a bit!! Usually with thrifted finds or old things lying around the house so this will be a lot of fun and very inspirational! Remember my recent Thrifted {Treasures} where I found a punch of frames and a mirror? Well, I finished the mirror yesterday and absolutely {love} how it turned out!
You might have heard me say this many times before but when we get a home, the colours for our living room will be teal (not an ugly teal), with black and white accents and splashes of this coloured pink (Eisley-inspired)! This is another piece that will someday adorn our home!
Chasey-boy love the mirror too. :) And I am pretty in love with painting everything lately, haha. Paint can transform {anything}…or most anything!
Do you have any ReStyling you’ve done? Link me to your place for more inspiration or just join in with Elsie (do a double-take, not Eisley ;)) and Rachel and their little movement!
x, jami
OH and last night I was super honoured to be featured on U-Create (made my night!!!!!). Be sure to go and check out Kari’s site, it’s {super} inspirational!
DIY homemade {inspiration} booklet
Wanna make a cute little book? I made Chase a few learning booklets (out of kix boxes) for Christmas and decided to make myself a little booklet that holds my hopes for 2011. I took pictures of the process so you can make one too if ya want. (or if you don’t have the time or energy or supplies… i am going to try and sell one or two on Etsy to see how they sell)
Supplies used:
Supplies used;
cardboard box (you can probably use chip board but that isn’t free), scissors, modge podge, paint/sponge brush, paper, hole punch, snap rings (to hold the book together), fabric scraps…
(optional) I used my cricut to cut vinyl letters out, but you can use stickers or your handwriting, or stitching, or whatever works for you. I also use this this book of creative cut outs that I had, which you can find at a hobby store or make some yourself. (just fyi- Joann’s sale racks are AMAZING!)
How to DIY;
-First, cut the cardboard pages to the size you like.
-Second, figure out the layout of your pages
(if you’re a super observant person, you’ll notice later, I never used this paper in my book. That’s because this is actually my sister and one of the pages she did in her book :))
- Then, glue and place paper carefully. I would add my paper on the glued cardboard and then I would cut the scrap paper to match the size of the (miss matched) cardboard.
-Punch how ever many holes you want. You can use a regular hole punch too, it’s a little harder but it works just the same!
-Snap on the snap rings.
-Cut scraps of fabric and tie them on the rings. (I cut 3″ and 4″ pieces)
- Finally, add whatever else you want into the book, ie. pictures, cut outs, writing…
Here is a peek into my book!
I began writing in it before I took photos and realized that some of what I wrote was more personal. Eeee! So I blurred what I had written and then completed it after I took photos.
I had a few ”silly” goals like this ’drink more water’ that I needed to incorprate into my daily living. Not huge dreams, but apart of the big picture. Even the little things make a huge difference :)
I organized some of my goals, dreams for this year into categories. I placed some into different seasons, some into months, some weekly, etc.
The end. (this pink paper reminds me of Eisley :))
Well… that’s my little {inspiration} booklet. Hope you’re inspired to create one! OR… just lemme know if you want me to make you one and I will put on specifically up for you on Etsy.
Much love, Jami
words that resonate.
i have my days, my hours where my heart is aching in a way that feels almost unbearable. today is one of “those days” where it’s really hard to get back up. it’s hard to even find the words tonight to express where i am at. my own words are failing me, so instead i will share a few photos with quotes or verses that resonate with me.
chase and eisley’s blankies (Thanks evie for this verse.)
(thank you brittney maxwell for this beautiful treasure you found me!)
