Eisley Antalya · Jami Joann · Life · Ted Harlan

WE.

The past week has been especially difficult in the Davis household. Reality sets in more and more each day and with each reminder that our Eisley-girl is gone, I grow weary. I originally popped on to write a post, venting in a most unhealthy kinda way about reminders and things are bringing me down. But I just can’t… I can’t go there and what’s the point but to bring me down further. So instead I decided to share, first a verse, then a little bit about how WE are (you’ll understand the need for caps soon) and then (the FUN stuff) in the a DIY project I’ve been meaning to share with you.

A few nights ago I was desperate for a word I could cling to. I typed in “sorrow, grief, tears, loss,” etc, into a search button on Ted’s ipad Bible app. I stumbled across these verses in Micah.

We’re clinging to Him, to {hope}.

(call me cheesy, but rainbows do always remind me of hope and promise. We woke one morning to this!)

We’re holding on to a few promises we feel He’s given us.

 To be honest, it has been so very rough between Ted and I, since we’ve lost Eisley. “They” say it is the most difficult thing that  a couple can go through, the loss of a child. The statistics of divorce after the loss of a child are ASTOUNDING. I can actually see how that could happen, not that I think it is right. You can very easily disconnect from one another because you don’t know how to be there for each other as you are BOTH grieving. You feel at a loss for how to be there or even encourage each other, most of the time. To say “it’s been rough” for us is a huge understatement. You might have noticed that I didn’t talk a lot about Ted since we’ve lost our girl. I wanted to respect where he was at and not share his personal life like I share mine with you all.

Side note: It might be confusing to some, why I share so much. I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that I shared our journey before we lost Eisley and I want to share our journey as we grieve as well. I write to process (in my journal) but I share some things “aloud” (blog) also from advice for those who’ve walked this road before us, also for encouragement and to know we aren’t alone, also a mixture of hoping that Eisley’s life and story and our journey will touch someone or help someone.  And I think, if I’m compltely honest, a bit of why I write and process for all to see, is because I am afraid of people forgetting Eisley.

Whoa, side track.  Back to Ted and I…We’re both the weakest we’ve ever been and it’s hard to have strength to be strong for one another, so lately we realized, that is okay. We are super weak, broken, sorting through shattered dreams, clinging to hope but we’re all of these things {together}. We’ve recently started walking together and it is so healing. That might seem confusing, why would we just now start walking together? It’s hard to explain. You’ve heard it said that “men and women grieve differently”. it. is. so. very. true. However, we’re learning that we grieve differently, yes, but not seperately.

And we’re now we’re seeking counsel to help us walk through this season. For the first time in my life, I really want to see a counselor. There is so much to process and walk through, things that I’ve avoided that I need to face, truama I need to process with someone who is not grieving as well. I’ve put a LOT on Ted that hasn’t helped him in his grieving, so this will be so healing for us both.

 Ted, I love you and am so thankful you’re the one by my side. WE are not giving up.

(on a fun note; DIY Recipe box on next post)

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10 thoughts on “WE.

  1. Jami, it is so great to hear that you are seeking out help as a couple to get through this difficult time. I can’t speak from experience, but I have been told stories of other people’s experience with counseling and I know it can be the difference maker! Most people see going to counseling as saying there is something wrong with you or that you are weak, but I think the exact opposite! It takes strength and courage and true commitment to your relationship to see a counselor so I am so happy you have set aside any preconceived ideas about counseling and are doing whatever it takes to make it through this season! You are such an inspiration to everyone around you! Thank you for being so open and honest about your struggles so we know how to pray for you and your wonderful family! One thing Eisley has given me is a reconnection with an old friend and I am very thankful for that! God Bless you guys!

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  2. I’m so glad that hubs and I beat that statistic.
    We were not married when I conceived and we were not married when I lost our Katelynn.
    Instead, it brought us closer. Two weeks after we lost Katelynn, he proposed to me.
    We got to grieve together and talk about our feelings and with that, I think we realized we were right for each other. We’ve seen each other in our best, and now, we see each other at our worst.
    My husband is forever my best friend.
    I’m glad you recognize that you need counseling and WANT counseling.
    You guys are in my prayers.

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  3. Jami & Ted-

    I know that I don’t really “know” you. But I’ve followed your blog for a while now and feel the need to reach out. I have some very good friends who lost their child when he was an infant and I saw how it tore them apart, but alas! They are doing well, holding on. I have faith that you two will also, hold on. I’m sending you my thoughts and prayers, I can only imagine the pain you’re going through…

    Maggy

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  4. Wow I love your honesty my friend. I believe you two were made for each other and meant to be together. So come hell or high water you will make it through this stronger than you have ever been. I love you both. And I am going to be praying for you in this specifically. For real–putting it on my list now. :-) I love you.

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