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Thoughts on life- By Ted

August 28, 2010
by colourherhope

I am sitting here with my son in my bed. My wife is about an hour south of us in a hospital.

Today as we received more bad news I began to wonder why this is so hard to take in. My little 9oz baby girl Eisley is fighting a battle that all must fight towards the end of life. The thing that is hard to understand is why NOW does she have to fight for survival? 

At the end of my life I know that all the years I have put on this body will begin to take its toll. My heart will begin to work harder and harder to continue to push the life giving substance through my body. One day it will fail and I will cease to live.

My baby girl is going through this battle before she has even opened her eyes and seen the sunlight shining into a room to say make way for a new day. This is whats so hard. The beauty of a new life is the ability to see and be seen. 

When I found out that we were having a girl my heart leaped. I began to envision a new aspect of our life as a family. In my heart I could see dreams and visions for this little one. A life of passion and love.

Now I have had to come to terms. This little child may never see the light of a new day or even feel the heat that the sun gives on her skin. I am tempted to play it safe and give up the dreams and hopes that every parent has for a child that is about to arrive in this thing we call life, but I cant.

I do not know what the final result will be in this childs life. To be honest, there are times I am fearful that this thing inside saying everything will be alright is just my voice trying to comfort me, but I do not know. Even if it is, I will not give up on this child. I will continue to hope and dream. I will be diligent in prayer and hope. This child is fearfully and wonderfully made.

I will fight to protect this child the only way I know how.

Thank you everyone who is standing with us. This road is very lonely and scary, but we know that you care. Thank you. From the depths of my heart I say thank you.

7 Comments leave one →
  1. August 28, 2010 10:06 am

    I’m saying a little prayer for your little one and may God bless you with a stronger heart… Hang in there, everything will be okay.

  2. Mari Quillen permalink
    August 28, 2010 12:03 pm

    continuing to stand with you. hold onto your little boy TIGHT. remember that faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. … Jesus is counting every tear. continuing to hold onto hope that little Eisley will get to feel the warm sunshine on her sweet baby skin.

  3. August 28, 2010 7:01 pm

    I have no words, except to say again that I am praying.

  4. Courtney permalink
    August 28, 2010 7:56 pm

    Fighting in prayer for you.

  5. emma permalink
    August 28, 2010 9:58 pm

    your family is deeply loved.. eisley is loved more than most can hope for in a whole lifetime.

  6. August 29, 2010 3:03 am

    I’m praying now for you all.
    Jeremiah 32:27 ALWAYS helps me.
    “Behold! I am the LORD! The God of ALL FLESH. Is there anything too hard for me?”

    Thinking of you guys as I just stumbled upon your blog.

  7. August 29, 2010 7:39 am

    You’re a great dad! I pray that Eisley will really get to know you as the best dad she could have! Love you guys!

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