“Backhoe, where the ba-ba go?!”
Chase is 2 years and 2 months. He’s a big boy now and has prided himself of this very fact for some time now. Except there was just one “itty bitty” problem that conflicted with that. Something that I don’t talk about much because, if I’m being honest, I feel kind of embarrassed by it.
One week ago from today,
Chase was still drinking milk from a bottle. Oh, but that’s not really the main problem…he was drinking milk from a bottle… throughout the night. He was still waking up 1, 2 or even 3 times asking me for a bottle with milk. Yes, it’s true. Chase, 2 years old and 2 months, still hasn’t hadn’t slept the whole night through. Still needed momma throughout the night.
(side note: he did drink from sippy cups and cups with straws at a really young age, but we just couldn’t nip this bottle in the night thing!)
A bit of background, not that it helps or excuses it, but here it is. When Chase was just 7 months old I became pregnant with Eisley and my milk supply dwindled rather quickly. The problem that arose during that time was the Chase has never been introduced to a bottle. Well, we tried once or twice, but other than that, nothing. He had only ever been breast-fed, never bottle fed. Needless to say, weaning him was super intense (plus I wasn’t ready to and that made it even harder on my heart).
So by 1 year old, just 3 months later, we still allowed him bottles. We decided we would wean him off bottles by the time Eisley was supposed to arrive, when he was just 17 months old. Once we lost Eisley, I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t take away his comfort, for himself but also because I didn’t feel strong enough to “fight” that “battle”. I just didn’t have it in me. By the time we moved into our new home in April, I was in the 1st trimester of pregnancy with Boy S and then the excuse went from being emotionally unready to wean him to being too physically exhausted. So, that pushed the weaning process back even further.
And then, let’s be honest, I just became lazy. I kept saying, “We’ll start next week.” and when the new week came I’d come up with some kind of excuse to not wean him just yet. Until one night, on my 3rd trip to the fridge to get him milk. I leaned down, my hip was in pain, my right leg asleep (this happens often with how low S is) and I reached for the milk and it HIT me SO hard. In just a few weeks I would be home with a newborn baby that would need me in the nighttime for nursing. I will also be recovering from a major surgery (c-seciton) and the last thing I needed to be doing was getting up 1,2, or 3 times a night to get my 2 year old son milk.
even if he is stinkin’ cute ;)
I then (finally) set a date and stuck with it. I threw out all of the “ba-bas” and so it began. I then told him something I’m still not totally sure was the “right” or best thing to do. I told him that the backhoe came and had to take away all of his “ba-bas” because he was a big boy now and they were for little boys and babies. I wasn’t sure if he’d understand that but BOY, oh boy did he!
The first night was incredibly difficult and drew out many tears from a confused boy and a tired (and kinda sad) momma. We spent most of the night up, getting a total of 3 hours of sleep. Chase knows what he wants and is a very determined little boy that it was kind of tough. That first night, I was scratching his back (another comfort thing – but I don’t mind this one) and he said pitifully, “Backhoe…. ba-ba… backhoe… ba-ba peeeeeease” I realized then that he did understand me! And then wondered if he’d ever love backhoes again. :) That morning as my super exhausted hubby got ready for work I told him I was tempted to get Chase pacifiers (one thing he’s never had and one thing I am DEFINITELY doing with Boy S!) Ted told me that kind of defeated our purpose. He was right but I wasn’t happy to hear that. ;)
By the 3rd night, he was doing much better and now, just one week later, we are doing phenomenally. He does occasionally wake up and ask me but last night was the moment Ted and I dreamed of;
An {entire} nights sleep uninterrupted. He slept the night through for the first time…since… ever? Maybe beside the accidental nights of deep sleep he had. Were there any? Gosh, I’m not even sure. It’s just been a really long time if so.
Yesterday, Chase and I dropped Ted off at school early and as we were driving home he noticed a bunch of construction trucks in the grocery parking lot. So I decided to pull in so he could get a better look. I pulled into the shade, rolled the windows down and we watched. I joined in his excitement and even laughed at myself that I knew some of the correct terms for the trucks like excavator, road roller, skidster loader, etc. (one of those ‘You Know You’re A Momma To A Boy When’ moments)
And then Chase suddenly YELLS out: “Backhoe, where the ba-ba go?!” I about lost it. I laughed so hard (and then of course called my mom and grandma and then texted Ted because I knew they’d all appreciate it too.)He {totally} understood what I had said to him. And he wanted an answer, even 6 days after the fact. Definitely going down in the book of ‘And then you said…’!
I know that each parenting style is different in timing of introducing certain things or taking away of others, ect. Please know that this is what our personal journey is and that if you’re in a different place; I do not judge or even think twice about it. This was/is apart of our personal journey through parenthood and failing and accomplishing a goal we’d set. Each person, family, kiddo, situation is different and I respect our different journeys through parenthood, mommahood, etc. All that to say, I hope you know my heart and don’t feel at all judged of worried if you are in a different place with your kiddo.
Which reminds me… I have a post that been stirring up in my heart about mommahood – lies, struggles, etc. It’ so heavy on my heart and mind, a lot and I will post that soon!
Thanks for reading :) Any funny stories you have, I’d love to hear :)
Oh my goodness Grandma called to tell me this at work and I laughed and shared it with all the girls at work who got a good laugh out of it. Too cute! Can’t wait to see him soon!
My six year old still talks about the ‘little girl’ we sent her pacifiers to when she was almost 3. Some people would think that’s too long to have those! Every family does it differently and your journey with this is entirely understandable! Love your honest stories.
Laughed so hard I almost woke MY sleeping little guy :) LOVED your tactic… with stuff like that, girlfriend, you do WHATEVER works!!! :)
If for nothing other than the adorable story, hopefully you will have no regrets! That is so precious! They grow up way too quickly anyway. And hey, 2 years old is nothin… I once saw a 4 year old drinking a bottle in public.. You just never know the whole story. You’re doing a great job mama! Hope you enjoy a few weeks of uninterrupted sleep before S arrives though! ;)
You are an awesome mama!!! :)
I have heard of parents using tactics like that a lot… batman took them, santa took them, ect. Whatever works!
Our children are only little for a short while, and they grow so quickly after that. Chase is adorable, and there are worse things a child can suffer than a comfort habit held too long. Your method for helping him grow out of his habit was wonderful, and I’m glad you got a wonderful memory in exchange for your gentle training. :)
Much love from a fellow mama.
HI. I enjoy reading your blog. It’s great that he doesn’t need a bottle at night anymore. :)
For future reference…
http://www.ada.org/3034.aspx
So so great! What a feat Jami! You are amazing!
And like I told you before, I had a bottle til I was 3 and I have some of the best teeth in the family. So don’t worry about anything and no need to be embarrassed. You are such an EXCELLENT mom! :)
That’s precious :)