Everly Selah: The meaning behind her name.


(one day old)

Long, long ago in the year of 2011… I thought that I made up a beautiful girl’s name. I was wrong, though unique, it definitely wasn’t my original creation according to Google.

Googling Everly I found a few things… 1. the Everly Brothers and 2. Everly – as a baby girl’s name’. While I was disappointed to see their meaning of Everly, I was also a bit relieved that we had our own special meaning – a little more meaningful’ than “a boars meadow”. Today if you were to google Everly you’d likely find the news that celebrity Channing Tatum named his daughter Everly just this summer. When we shared our baby name with my grandparents, my grandma showed me an US magazine that about made me scream haha… how dare you “steal” our name, Channing! ;) Thanks to him, the name might just skyrocket this year and thanks to him, we’ve already been asked if we knew of Channing naming his baby Everly… yes, yes we know and no, we did not name her after a celebrity’s baby. ;)

I think we all probably hear those kind of comments when sharing our baby’s or kiddo’s names with others. ;) With Chase Journey it was “Like after the band Journey?”. um, no. And with Shailo I heard both, “That makes me think of that movie with the dog named Shiloh.” or better yet, “Didn’t Angelina Jolie name her daughter Shiloh?” Oh golly…

I believe names are super powerful and meaningful and I spend a lot of time pondering over them. Never once this pregnancy did I question the name we had for our 2nd daughter. I knew it would be Everly Selah from the moment we became pregnant (if she was a girl, which YAY! she was indeed.)

Right before I became pregnant with Shailo, I came up with this name for a future daughter. It’s hard for me to put into words exactly why, just months after the loss of Eisley, I came up with a name for a future girl. The gist: I remember crying out to Him one evening and journaling my heart out. There was a part of me that felt we would have another daughter, and I decided on that evening her name would be a reflection (of who He is to us, to her and who she is to Him) and a declaration that would mean Forever Amen.


Psalms 145:21

My mouth will speak the praise of the Lord,

and let all flesh bless his holy name forever and EVER.

I knew that I wanted her name to declare that He is forever sovereign, good, loving, caring, worthy, etc, etc, etc… amen. We wanted to declare that even though we’ve walked through the darkest valley (for us)  He is still all of the beautiful things we believed He was. Despite our suffering and loss, He was still good and caring. We were still His and He was still our Father who loved us. I decided I wanted our next girl’s name to mean forever… so I Decided on Ever and added ‘ly’ to fit with our Eisley-girl’s name. Though she ins’t here with us on Earth, I still, very much so, wanted her to be apart of our family. Even when it comes to names. I want all of our kiddos names to “fit” with one another.

And so, Ever with an ‘ly’ was especially perfect! And how awesome that both our girls’ names start with E :) Truly a fitting name all around…

As for her middle name…


photo-3Selah… as you probably know, it’s biblical. It means a few things: to pause and reflect or simply, Amen. I love both meanings. We chose Selah to fit with the meaning of her first name. For us Selah is a part of declaring who He is and how He is forever all the the beautiful things we know of Him… the added ‘amen’ to Forever is so perfect for us and for Evelry.

While I was in Amsterdam I felt like I got even more behind the meaning for her name, I don’t know if it was a prompting from God or just me. I really felt to search throughout the bible and to find specific verses for our little Ever. Verses that would show her what He feels of her as well as what her name means to us.

My favourite verse for her and I can’t wait to share this with her someday, is John 14:16-20;

And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Helper, to be with you forever, even the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive, because it neither sees him nor knows him. You know him, for he dwells with you and will be in you.“I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you. Yet a little while and the world will see me no more, but you will see me. Because I live, you also will live. In that day you will know that I am in my Father, and you in me, and I in you. 
We will share with her what we’ve walked through in our lifetime thus far and that He is still forever good and loving. (Isaiah 40:8 – The grass withers, the flower fades, but the word of our God will stand forever…)
We will share that she too will likely walk through difficult times in her life and that even still she can forever trust Him. (Isaiah 26:4 - Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord God is an everlasting rock…)
We will share with her that He will forever and ever love her! I hope when she reads the word forever or selah in the bible, she can be reminded even more so …
Everly Selah Davis, I pray that you will forever know He is beautiful and oh so good, even in the valleys. I pray that you will forever believe that He loves and adores you and that He is forever trustworthy. He is with you forever, He dwells in you. He will not leave you as an orphan in spirit, He will come to you. He will live in you, sweet girl. 

Ever’s First Bath

It was a celebration of sorts the day Little Miss Ever’s umbilical cord stump fell off (eww, right? Yes.) The boys were OH SO EXCITED so we made it kind of a family ordeal.

Though her facial expressions share otherwise, we believed she liked it… ;)

EverlysFirstBath-1EverlysFirstBath_Collage .jpgEverlysFirstBath-8EverlysFirstBath-12She reminds me so much of Chaseyboy here. EverlysFirstBath_Collage4 .jpgEverlysFirstBath-14EverlysFirstBath-9CHEEKS.
EverlysFirstBath-16EverlysFirstBath-15Like I said… family ordeal :)

EverlysFirstBath-2I held her hand for comfort because HELLO …bathing with brothers…EverlysFirstBath-18Tradition post bath photo with momma.

EverlysFirstBath_Collage5 .jpgChaseyboy, Shai and Ever.
EverlysFirstBath-19So relaxed. EverlysFirstBath-20EverlysFirstBath-21EverlysFirstBath_Collage2 .jpgGotta have some shots of the boys, but of course. EverlysFirstBath-25

First bath, Everly approved.

Everly’s first week.

I did first week posts for my boys, and now here is one for our little Ever. Here are some photos from the last week.

1897825_10152017599386989_1263327183_nI know I shared this photo in the last post, but I just had to share it again. I absolutely adore this one of her!1779953_10152015058006989_2095522843_n Ever in the hospital, meeting a special lady Lindsey – she was a nurse of mine when I first entered the hospital for Eisley, she also came into work on her day off to meet Eisley and she did her footprints, etc. It was so special to us. When we had Shailo, she was our nurse in the OR room. This time she wasn’t able to be in the OR room because she’s transferred  hospitals, but she still popped by! (And she is currently 18 weeks pregnant!)1613782_10152015064006989_703563091_n


Little ruffle bum. 1900150_10152020638081989_1212514275_n At her first baby checkup. Loving being on her tummy. 1236526_10154048434235727_2105755160_n (Ted took this with his phone) 1146608_10152028019331989_66203753_nAuntie Abba1959845_10152025049606989_1717830747_n1947872_10152019293586989_148072743_n1922512_10152021221051989_2064404429_n

Out and about… I snapped this photo because I couldn’t believe how much she looked like her daddy!1901742_10152021345811989_583403708_n 1926718_10152021805206989_1409722004_n

Ever loves the wee hours of the morning, particularly 1-3am. We’re working on changing that ;) Something that has helped is leaving a lamp on, as she seems to have her nights and days mixed up right now.
1924445_10152021969531989_1205388278_n Big brother Shai introduces her as “MY EVERLY”… oh my heart.
1948126_10152022155481989_763512388_n This is me having waaaaay too much fun having a little girl in the house.
1780728_10152022345066989_1123075007_nShailo was playing with her feet and I couldn’t help but snap this photo. photo 5-11 She snoozes like this often and I’m guessing she did this in the womb a lot. ADORE. photo 4-8 Presh’y girls face up close. Her eye colour is almost exactly what Chase’s was which means maybe just maybe she’ll have her momma’s eye colour: brown-hazel.
photo 3-11 1555310_10152026557021989_564776102_n

Daddy and Ever: words can’t express what this does to my heart.

Another one of my fav photos of Sweet Girl. She definitely has her momma’s wide set eyes!photo 2-17 Chicken legs :)
photo 1-14



During the day I have to wake her to feed her (most times) and at night, she it feels like she doesn’t stop nursing ;) I can’t complain, I seriously ADORE her and am trying to cherish every newborn moment.


They love her so much!! Shailo and Chase did get into a little physical fight (shocking!) around her and Everly ended up getting her first punch in the face by Shai. I cried with her (Can I blame hormones or….?) He felt bad and Chase even teared up! We are learning to be careful around baby sissy over her ;)1623586_10152026247746989_1270802804_n1970847_10152024376651989_1926246125_nI know it’s ridiculous … but yes, yes I did take her on her first thrift store shopping trip! Gotta start her young ;) No, really I just needed to get out of the house so my MIL droves us all to the thrift store. :)1780713_10152024450941989_1525086550_n3 kiddos in the car! SO SURREAL. I love it so much.1898045_10152025062166989_339467061_nHolding her Grandpa Matt’s finger (my dad ADORES her)1964975_10152027692376989_1945651687_n

Bright eyed beauty. Taken just yesterday.


I’m recovering very well this time around. I’m so thankful! I was having a meltdown recently where I stood in the bathroom crying my eyes out (thanks hormones) for all of the wrong reasons: I felt fat, my “mask of pregnancy” still covers my face, and I felt way too emotional. I’ve decided to reflect on all 4 pregnancies and the beautiful gifts that came from them. Today, my body aches, my stomach is hanging to my knees (or at least is feels like it ;)), I weigh way more than on my wedding day, I have wrinkles and bags under my eyes, and I have scars and stretch marks galore, etc… They are worth it all. Every ache, every scar and stretch mark, every sleepless night, every moment where I look like a maniac screaming at my 2-year-old who’s running in the parking lot, every messy room and ruined material item I once treasured, every moment that is no longer just my own… They are truly worth it all and more. My heart is so full, content and thankful. Even for the parts that make me feel less then pretty and young. Chase Journey, Eisley Antalya, Shailo Valour and Everly Selah… You are worth it all and more!!

I am so very thankful, more than words can say.

Happy first week Everly Selah!

The meaning of the name post NEXT.

Introducing “Baby E.S.”

Friday February 28th our family welcomed in another precious bundle.


Meet Everly Selah Davis

Friday February 28th at 8:05AM

7lbs 6oz 19in


(photo taken about 2 hours after surgery.)Image

our first little one that has Ted’s nose.


Big brothers holding sister for the first time. when Shailo first saw Everly, he looked back at me and said’ “Momma, you belly gone!” which we all got a kick out of.


Even the little details seem so girly and dainty!Image

Ted is SMITTEN and I am falling in love all over again. It melts my heart to watch him with a daughter!Image

Daddy helping Shailo hold Ever.

Image ImageImage

Everly “Ever” Selah meaning “Forever Amen” …More on the full meaning behind her name soon.

DIY Jersey Knot Headbands

Decided to try and pop out another quick DIY on the blog, before I “pop out” this baby FRIDAY!!

Here is a quick post to share DIY headbands for yourself or your little one!

photo 1-11

Choose a fabric, I haven’t yet tried cotton but mostly because I really love the jersey materials! They work well with this kind of headband as well. photo.PNGMeasurements: For a baby/toddler I cut 22″ long and a little over 4″ wide (you’ll cut the extra off)
photo 3-9Once you’ve cut… photo 4-6 Fold it and pin the RIGHT side IN!photo 5-9Then sew, sew, sew.photo 1-12
Once you’re finished, fold it again.
photo 2-15 Cut the corners off, to make the “bow” a little more defined.photo 3-10Cut the extra off the sides if needed (also, for this tutorial I accidentally used a straight stitch when I usually do a close zigzag stitch)photo 4-7 Turn material right side out.photo 5-10 photo-2

Knot the material to your liking!! And you’re done!

photo 2-16

I’ve experimented with this fun project. I’ve done some wider and thinner. I like both but will really decide when I see them on our little Gal! :)

photo 1-13

They are so easy and quick and cute! I hope you enjoy this DIY!

The next time you see me on here, I’ll be introducing our new bundle!!

Pray for us this Friday as we’re having her via C-section around 7:30am MST!

DIY Infinity Scarf Nursing Cover

For Christmas I was gifted a infinity scarf nursing cover! It’s SO cute and really a brilliant idea, especially if – like me – you love infinity scarves.

However, I did not love the price when I heard of it. You can spend a small fortune on one or you could make 5 for the price of 1 you’d buy on Etsy (or elsewhere). I flipped mine inside out and couldn’t believe how easy it would be to make some. This week I ventured to Joann Fabrics and chose 5 prints I loved (currently 30% off!) and began trying my hand at them.

photo 2-13

Step 1: Pick out cute prints that you can wear with your everyday outfits. I recommend buying a yard of each but you read below (step 3) and decide for yourself.

photo 1-10

Step 2: Fold your material inside out so the right side is facing each other and pin along the raw edge.

photo 1-7

photo 2-10

Step 3:

The nursing cover I have measured 30″ wide x 20″ long. It fits and will work for nursing, however I wanted to make mine a little bigger. I made 5 and 3 of them are 30″ x 24″ (because I ended up really liking that size personally. And 2 are 60″ wide x 30″ long, and they too are good, just personally I think a little on the bulky and large side. The choice is yours, really!

(I have extra material to make headbands and hats, etc from the shorter ones)

Step 4: (not pictured) sew the raw edge together.

photo 3-7

Step 5: (Optional depending on the material) I chose to sew the edge of the entire piece on some but you don’t have to. Some jersey fabrics just fold over perfectly so when you’re wearing it you don’t see the raw edge all around. photo 3-8And you’re done! SEW EASY ;)
photo 4-5This one above has a kind of subtle sparkle in it, I love it! It’s my “dressier” one.
photo 3.PNGThis one above is fun because it’s reversible. photo 2-11A simple, pretty print for everyday.
photo 1-8

And pink because…. I wear a lot of black (kind of a bad habit of mine since I was a teenager) so a little colour in my life is a good thing :)

I hope this DIY was helpful and made sense. I’m by NO means a professional or even advanced sewer, but I do enjoy sewing and figuring out how to make things that are pretty.

Thanks for popping by! I hope to post another DIY soon on baby or adult jersey knot headbands!

Amsterdam Maternity Shoot.

We really wanted to do a maternity photoshoot before we left Amsterdam. So literally 2 days before we left, we attempted one. unfortunately both boys fell asleep on our walk into the city and when they woke, they were SO cranky and not loving the cold weather. So here are a few shots of mostly me at 29 weeks pregnant.

AmsterdamMaternity-7The first pair of shoes I ever purchased for her and they are from Amsterdam, even better!
AmsterdamMaternity-2AmsterdamMaternity-4AmsterdamMaternity-5AmsterdamMaternity-8Chase refused to get out of the stroller due to the cold. And Shailo was clearly not a fan either :)
AmsterdamMaternity-9Hilarious one of Shailo :)AmsterdamMaternity_feet

That’s it from our quick maternity shoot in Amsterdam. Kind of makes me laugh, but I sure am thankful we did them! We are taking my “official” maternity photos next week at 37 weeks like I did with Shailo. Even though I am not MUCH bigger than these shown here, I will post them… for memouries sake ;)

Preparing for Baby E.S.

I thought I’d do a much overdue post about our little lady…
babyes_4Our sweet girl is a little less than 25 days away from being in our arms! I am officially scheduled to have her (via C-section) February 28th, 7:30 am!

(these photos of E.S we’re taken at an appointment in Amsterdam right before we left)
babyes_6 We are currently living with relatives until we know what our next step is. It is challenging for me personally because at this point in pregnancy I usually end up redoing an entire room or two; finishing a nursery or painting a room, etc. I’ve taken on a few projects some of them are just things like sorting through all of the girls clothes we’ve been given or have thrifted. My mom has been an incredible help with that process :)babyes_7 More sorting.. I can’t even tell you how excited her little outfits make me. HOLY MOLY. babyes_8 I’ve also been researching and reading up on Cloth diapering which is a new territory for us. I’ve always wanted to do this and have never attempted it. This time around, here we go!BabyES A lifesaver for my “nesting” has been these fun little sewing projects when I have the energy and time (usually while Shailo is sleeping) to do them! I am currently in the process of making burp clothes, boppy covers, changing pads, wet bags, etc… I went with my favourite colour pallet when it comes to little girlies… coral pink, teals, pinks, etc.
babyes_3Probably my favourite project is making E.S. jersey knot headbands! I have sewn 16 so far, some for her, some for two different friends girlies too!
Below are some belly photos to play catch up:1560701_10151911087506989_2115162841_n I took one photo a week with Chaseyboy and Shailo and my 4th pregnancy, I think I’ve taken maybe 8 “nice” photos total. ;)1003078_10151944920801989_796009728_n


1460969_10151952912611989_2038424609_nBelly meets steering wheel – 34 weeks pregnant.1497099_10151955359921989_716307619_n35 week photo, about as good as it got that week :)

This is a real, honest look into my current state of dress and mind and everything hahaha. A TOTAL MESS. 10748_10151961126781989_87012934_nFunny photo of Shai and momma aka “the whale” ;)
1012540_10151965187851989_1088837523_nI spent a couple hours in the hospital on Sunday, monitoring baby. I was in the most pain I’ve been in besides active labor with Chase. I think for my body it’s just 4 pregnancies, 4 years in a row and this pregnancy is my first which I carry up and down instead of side-to-side. So new stretching on this belly and body, My incision from the previous C-sections has given me pain and problems this pregnancy as E.S. grows. My legs go numb often throughout the day due to pressure and her having “dropped”. It’s normal pregnancy stuff, but the 4th time around I just feel it more. My body is worn out. She’s worth every ache and pain and restless night!

Having her heart monitored brought up a lot of painful memouries of my time (in that same hospital) with Eisley. I don’t want to spend the next few weeks feeling anxious but I see myself already down that path. I’m trying to stay positive and focus of the good things. Please pray for peace of mind for me?


Above is my next project before she arrives! Craigslist $20 glider to transform into a beauty: to paint and recover it!

Thank you for stopping by!

Since we’ve been back…

Just some photos and notes of our time since we’ve been back in ‘Merica …
1486759_10151886152716989_682454113_nThe boys were gifted many Superhero gifts this Christmas. Here they are as super hero Ninjas.

I asked my mom to make the boys super hero capes to go with a batman and superman mask I bought them for Christmas (off Amazon for SO cheap!) She went above and beyond and made them each reversible capes. Chase’s is Batman and Captain America  and Shailo’s is Superman and Ironman. My kiddos don’t actually watch superhero movies yet, although they are obsessed haha, so they have no idea that many of these Superheroes don’t actually wear capes ;)1479430_10151886245511989_581324243_nMy littlest batman, confused on how to wear the mask.1501749_10151886606771989_117263195_nI’ve struggled a lot with feeling guilty for selling most everything and moving our kiddos overseas for a season. When we came back I noticed how much the little familiar thins meant to Chase. Ted found his box of some of his fav toys and he is so excited. I’m thankful we didn’t sell ALL of his things. Precious boy, I’m okay with him finding a little bit of comfort in these familiar things, even Octonauts.  I’m hoping to blog soon about these guilty feelings and thoughts on the future plans.

The beginning of potty training Shailo… reading books, singing potty/poo songs, etc. Brother will be super helpful as we embark on this new adventure! :)1499473_10151894870131989_921684930_nSince we returned to the States the boys have struggled with colds, flu, ear infections, the works ;)1504959_10151901436431989_1448098231_n

Shailo even got the worse diaper rash he has ever had. I ended up searching Pinterest for a natural remedy and found one that worked WONDERS: Coconut oil + Tea Tree essential oil! 1527027_10151901854491989_2019985371_n

New Year’s Eve we made our own Christmas cookies (a tradition I love and missed this year!)1545625_10151922803766989_191251857_n1512594_10151899043631989_1417304641_n

We absolutely LOVE Colorado winters. They are gorgeous. One moment it could be snowing and the next it’s bright and sunny! We’ve tried to make time to get outside, as much as this sleepy/achy momma can!


We spent a weekend in Arvada where we lived just a few months ago. It was a great weekend to catch up with friends we’ve missed since we’ve been away.


We went to Zoo Lights, a treat from our friend Chey and Anthony.

1422454_10151924478876989_268136824_nShailo, caught in the act of stealing fresh homemade cookies GGma (his great grandma) made. He pushed the chair up himself to sneak these.


I had my first EVER prenatal massage and chiropractor treatment, thanks to my Padre’s christmas gift to me. AMAZING to say the least.

1528659_10151935107156989_2117987799_nThis past weekend we celebrated my Great Grandma Lois’s 90th birthday! This is my boys Great GREAT Grandmother! This is what happens when 4 generations have babies young.995284_10151935170981989_199629154_nWe threw her a big surprise birthday party. My 2nd cousin’s and Aunt and Uncle flew in from Illinois to surprise her :)1513209_10151935386206989_2128839190_n

Beauty then and now. Many years of life and love!

burnt out.

My jet lag has officially worn off, yet I still found myself awake way before the sun today. I laid in bed, my thoughts whirling; going back to sleep was impossible. The difference this morning is that I can pinpoint the exact issue causing this inner turmoil.

Today our sweet Chaseyboy starts 4-year-old preschool. While we were in Amsterdam we felt this was needed as soon as we came back. The fall I attended my Counseling school was the same fall that we had originally decided we would start homeschooling Chase. I always thought, and still do in many ways, that homeschooling would be the way we’d go. As you can imagine, I didn’t teach him a thing this fall.

This is the cause for my inner struggle today. I guess for me, since homeschooling was the initial goal, I feel like failure. Or at least until I take a moment to really allow myself to think about where I am at.

I have always been thankful that I was an adaptable, go-with-the-flow momma. I’ve never boasted it, but deep down, I felt proud of myself. When I became a mother, my body adapted well to minimal sleep. If my plans were altered at all for the day, no problem. I wasn’t in constant need of my husband to swoop in and save me when he got home, or to be up late with me during night feedings, or to take turns doing this or that, etc. The occasional new and exhausting problems arose and while I’d stumble through them, I still felt I was able to function.

While in Amsterdam I found myself beginning to wear out. I knew a part of it was the new aspect of school 9-3:30 every day and I tried to give myself grace. But since we’ve returned to America, I’ve found myself in a new place entirely:

I’m burnt out.

I’m 32 weeks pregnant with our 4th baby in less than 5 years. Add to this the loss of Eisley which still weighs heavily on our hearts and minds, especially while entering another new season of life, again, without her. We moved back to America only to have our plans fall through for our next season – which was moving to Alaska. We are now living with my grandparents until the baby is born and we figure out the next step for us (we have a few things He’s laid on our heart.)

I’m physically, mentally and emotional worn out. In some ways I feel numb, but more than that I just feel like functioning with every day life is so difficult for me. I feel more worn out and exhausted than my 26-year-old “should” feel.

I realized something super significant while I was in Amsterdam. I watched my mother give 110% percent of her life to her children. She put aside her job, her dreams and she poured her everything into us. I watched this my entire life and even still, though now she works full time outside of the home (runs her own business even!) she still pours into her grown children.

I didn’t realize how much I’ve taken on how I saw her mother us upon myself, until this fall when I was away from my kids during the day. From the moment we had Chase, he became my whole world. Then Eisley, then Shailo… I know that a part of this is natural and it’s who I am. But I also know a part of this is having watched my mom pour into us over the years. I think that a part of me felt like I was failing if I didn’t have the homemaking and mothering down; home cooked meals from scratch every day, a clean and organized home, never really bothering Ted to help me, teaching my kiddos at home, etc etc…

While my sweet and amazing Madre could do all of this, and thrive. I cannot. It hit me this fall and even more so as we’ve been home.

I cannot do it all.

I hate cooking and I have no desire to learn to bake and cook amazing meals. I settle with healthy and SIMPLE and preferably quick.

I absolutely suck at keeping our home clean. I try to organize but it’s not a natural part of who I am. It’s exhausting.

I often choose my kids over my husband and it effects our relationship greatly.

I realize after almost 5 years of motherhood, I DO need help. I need to ask for help, I can’t do it all myself.

While I love being able to grow a baby within and I am so thankful she is healthy, I am hurting. I’m physically in so much pain this pregnancy, I don’t know how I’m going to make it to her birth date.

I feel like I’m failing as a mother, as a wife, as a daughter and sister, as a friend…

And you know why? because I haven’t taken the time for me. To refresh, to reenergize, to pause, to rest, etc. I’m so worn out, that even finding time to do the things I love wear me out; like crafting, decorating, blogging, playing with my boys, taking them outside and exploring etc. I’ve spent 2009-2013 pouring out everything I have into people I love and while that is a good thing, if there isn’t boundaries I’ve found I burn out.

This is why, in this season, I am letting go of my desire to homeschool Chase. This is why he’s in preschool where I know he will thrive with teachers and new friends over a burnt out momma who just can’t do it right now.

This is why I am letting go of a deep cleaned and organized space.

This is why I am sitting down to blog with hot tea and a hot heating pad on my back.

This is why I am choosing to let go of what I “should be” and be REAL with where I am at currently.

I don’t want to sink into this further and I feel like the best thing for me and for my family, is that if I let things go and if I rest = especially before Baby E.S. is born.

I guess I just wanted to write and let it all out. Get it out of my mind and to BE OKAY with where I am at.

And I will be in a better place soon. But I’ve got to pause as best I can, rest while I can and let go of what the I think I should be right now.