Category Archives: Pregnancy

the birth of seth tyrus maxwell, part two.

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Be sure to read the first part of this incredible birth story, here.
Where was I? Oh yes, this incredible, and surprisingly big, baby boy was born.8lbs 14oz 21 14/in … and with a set of healthy lungs!Precious moments with his momma. It was so amazing to watch him just watching her face.Daddy stood by as they did a newborn screening and footprints. 

Big brother Anthem meeting him for the first time. <3
I’m pretty sure he loved him. :)

Such an honour to know such a beautiful family. What a memorable day, the birthday of Seth Tyrus Maxwell.

the birth of seth tyrus maxwell, part one.

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October of 2011, I was incredibly honoured when I was asked to photograph my dear friend, Brittany’s birth of her second born son (due this past spring.) Here is my side of one of the most beautiful things I was a part of this year. I am so very excited to share some of the photos I captured from the incredible birth of Seth Tyrus. (My friend had hoped for a home birth but was unable to work insurance issues out. Thankfully she was still able to have a natural birth with a midwife – like she’d hoped!)I received the call at 6:30am Saturday, April 28. The anticipation was over, the day had come for Brittany and Taylor to meet their second son. Her water had broke and they were on their way to the hospital. As things began to progress, Brittany and Taylor updated their family of the news. He was coming! Today was the day!  And what a beautiful day it was; Blue skies and Colorado sunshine to welcome in their sweet baby boy. They walked the halls to help (and at this time, I felt I should let them have their time to talk and process.)When they returned, her midwife arrived and they began to check her progress. Things were speeding up. Having had a quick first labor with their son Anthem Tate, the midwife felt she would most likely have another quick labor. I could see fear and anxiety flicker across my sweet friend’s expression every once and a while. What would this labor be like for her? I prayed quietly as I documented their story.
As quickly as things were progressing, the labor and delivery nurse began preparing for the little one’s birth.The contractions became stronger and her pain became more and more evident.
Her hubby, Taylor stuck by her side and comforted her as she needed it. I could see many emotions in his eyes throughout the birth process but mostly that of pride: pride watching his bride, so strong, sweet and beautiful, as she selflessly birthed their second born.
Her doula, Bethany, documenting the stages of her labor (she is also a friend of mine, I just recently photographed the birth story of her baby girl.)

About 4/4.5 hours in she went into the jacuzzi tub for comfort. This is the part where I prayed my heart out while she labored away. I could sense her fear rising up again.She was so strong, she just needed to believe that for herself too. Taylor stood by her side, affirming her. Bethany and her midwife Julie, also did the same. Her midwife stood, swaying back and forth with her, helping her fight through the contractions. Things began to speed up rather quickly from this moment on out. Her contractions falling closer and closer behind. The time was near. Everyone could feel it. Especially this sweet momma. (If you look at the clock in the photo – to get an idea of just how fast things progressed, she had him about 30 mins later.)There is such an incredible helplessness you feel as you watch a loved one in labor, in such pain. At this point Taylor just simple held her as the waves of labor swept over her. It moved me to tears.
As the time to push drew nearer, Britt closed her eyes and breathed deeply. Taylor never left her side. Bethany touched a cool rag to her forehead for comfort. I prayed and captured these incredibly emotional moments before her son was born.
Perhaps my favourite photo. What an incredible strength. In both of them.I thought it was so beautiful, that in her pain, she reached up and literally clung to her husband, her rock. She clung to him with each push until finally, Seth was born. I don’t even had words. Just tears. Such a beautiful moment and moments to follow. My sweet, strong friend Brittany was incredible.Seth Tyrus Maxwell

April 28, 2012 1:26 pm

8lbs 14oz 21 1/4in

You are an incredibly lucky little boy to have such an incredible, selfless momma and a strong, loving daddy! (Part two to follow…)

Thank you to Brittany and Taylor for allowing me to be a part of your beautiful, miraculous day!

a {different} beautiful dream.

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It’s a moment I will never forget, probably because it was one that would either scar a person for life, or move them to tears. It was the very first time I witnessed a birth, at the young age of 13. I was watching the kiddos of my mom’s friend while she labored away in their home. My mom was there and as the time of their daughter’s birth neared, they asked me if I would like to be in the room. I decided I did and I have never regretted that decision since. It was beautiful and I knew at the moment, that was what I hoped for some day. I always knew I wanted a family (being the eldest, I always did), but now I knew how I wanted to birth my children. In the peace of our home.

Years later, I was 24 weeks pregnant, I had a wonderful midwife and a beautiful birth story all planned out.  But they were telling me that I was Group B Strep positive and I was told that I wouldn’t be able to have the home birth I had always dreamt of (I later learned, you actually can be GBS + and still have a home birth, but thankfully He knew what we needed at the time). I was crushed. I mean, devesated. I balled and balled. Ted, who was never fully at peace with the idea of a home birth, finally felt peace and knew this was the best decision for us. Then, at almost 42 weeks they told me the likelihood of me having to have a c-section was great. Many factors that weren’t adding up. I felt like the biggest failure, frustrated with my body for being unable to have my baby naturally.

I won’t go into detail Chase’s birth story, if you’re really curious – just click here as I have written his birth story online once before. To sum it up, 42 hours of labor, 3.5 hours of pushing, making it all the way to 10cm only to have him get stuck and unable to fit and come out. I had him by c-section, totally exhausted and drugged up and unable to remember anything or hold him until a day later.

My perspective has greatly changed since we’ve lost Eisley. I have since realized, through our own life experience, that any birth story that is able to bring the baby to your arms, alive, is the really best birth story there is.

Words can’t express how incredibly thankful I am that I was able to have Eisley naturally (vaginally) 73 hours of labor later I met our sweet girl face to face. It wasn’t what I had dreamt when I thought of having a baby but I am so very thankful that I was able to hold my daughter, to see her precious face before we said goodbye, and because of that, I wouldn’t trade any of those 73 hours in for anything. (we just recently had the 2nd anniversaries or her death -september 14th and her birthday – september 17th. Blog post about those precious anniversaries, soon.)

I decided to schedule a c-section with Shailo. There was really no question in my mind. I knew I couldn’t go through another long labor that would potentially result in a c-section, again. And also, I felt a natural birth was too traumatic from going through what we had with Eisley just shy of 14 months before. So, in regards to a c-section, even though it was a dream lost – I was able to have two beautiful boys due to them. So very thankful we live in a day and age that it is possible.

I kind of digress, but I wanted to share a bit of my heart behind what I’m about what I am really blogging about. When I was pregnant with Chase, Eisley and Shailo I enjoyed looking through photographs of birth stories – home births, c-section births, hospital births… I was constantly moved to tears by them. In my pregnancy with Shailo I really felt that God gave me an incredible dream. I wanted to be a birth photographer. I wanted to capture “that moment” for another. You know, that one moment when the mother first meets their baby face to face. The moment when they birth their baby and he/she is placed on their chest. The incredible emotion, the overwhelming love… that moment. That specific moment was one that I was unable to have but I wanted to capture that for someone else.

And, the story beforehand and those precious moments afterwards. But especially the moment the momma (and daddy) first sees their little one.

The question, “How could you photograph…”that moment”… something you’ve never experienced yourself?” started to plague my mind. And while that makes total sense in a way, I had to battle that. I honestly think there will always be this yearning in my heart. Wondering what “that” moment would be like. And even without the experience of a home birth or a completely natural, un-medicated birth, I feel that yearning so strong that I am able to truly capture the moments I would believe to be beautiful – as if it were my birth story. What would I want captured?

Another thing that began to draw out insecurity from within me was knowing that I wasn’t a professional photographer, so how could I just jump right in. My wonderful hubby jumped on board with my dream and wanted to help me in any way possible. So he has been teaching me. :) I have a lot to learn but I can already see a change in the work that I do. And also, I don’t want to be a professional photographer, maybe not ever, right now I just know I want to understand the camera and how to best captures those moments for someone else.

So how do I begin?

I knew that I wanted to start with friends, but even with close friends… how do you ask something like that? “Hi, I’d like to photograph your birth story, what do ya think?” The first thought of many is most likely – “I don’t want …down there… photographed!” haha. Thankfully, I was spared that awkward conversation and just 3 weeks after I shared this dream with Ted (October 2011), a friend of mine called me. She asked if I would consider photographing the birth of their son, Seth. I literally got goosebumps and tears filled my eyes. I was honoured to shoot my first birth in April.

During the birth of my friend Brittany’s son, I was asked to shoot my second birth by another dear friend, Bethany. She was Brittany’s doula and a long time friend and inspiration of mine. The amazing thing is that when I had shared with Ted about my dream, I had told Ted that I wanted to ask Bethany when they got pregnant with their next baby. And not too long later, they shared they were pregnant with baby #7! On September 15th, just a few weeks ago, I shot my second birth – the beautiful birth of their 4th daughter; Lilyana Elaine.

I hope to share both birth stories here soon. Today I will be posting the birth story of Seth Tyrus Maxwell (with permission.)

I am hoping for more wonderful opportunities like the two I’ve had this year. So very thankful for this dream I believe He’s given me and can’t wait to see how He will use this and bless others with it! Possible overseas someday? We shall see!

I just wanted to share a little bit about the story behind this dream that I believe God’s birthed in me (pun intended ;)) Thanks for stopping by!

“Time Crunch” {a maternity photo shoot}

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post edited on 12-31-2011 to show never before seen photos from this day. The photos with the chalkboard sharing his name :)

(that’s all of the “new” ones above :))

This maternity shoot has been a long time in coming. In fact, it’s about 7 weeks “late” according to my plan (haha, “plan” ;)).

I was beginning to lose hope that this photo shoot would happen. Ted is so insanely busy with work and school and other photo shoots that finding time for our maternity one was close to impossible. I almost gave up completely because at this point in pregnancy my hands, feet and face (more specifically my nose) begin to swell and I start feeling far from cute pregnant . ;) But I knew I’d be so disappointed with myself for not getting at least a few good photographs of my pregnancy with S.

So we set another date (first was rained out), picked Ted up from work last Saturday and decided to try and knock it out. By the time we got his gear ready, his clothes changed and downtown we had less than an hour of sunlight left. At first I was super bummed because (if you follow my pinterest boards you know) I had a million and one ideas I wanted to try. I decided to just let them go and to go with the time we had and whatever shots we got, we got. The main objective was to capture our pregnancy with Boy S, so as long as we got one or two good belly shots, we were set.

All that to say, here are most of our maternity shots. I’m calling them our “time crunch” shots due to the fact that I’m full term and that we had a race against time with the sun. This wasn’t my “plan” but I have to say I am completely in love with these photos, even though there are few. {In love}. Ted shot a lot of candid shots while I was talking with Chase about posing for photos and they turned out to be some of my favourite photos of he and I to date.

(Side note: All of these photos were taken by Ted but had to be edited by me because he’s too busy right now. I am impatient and wanted to post them before we had S so I wasn’t posting maternity shots after he’s born :))

Some of my favourite shots I can’t show because I used a chalkboard and instead of writing ‘Boy S’ I wrote his name. So I’ll have to share those AFTER I have S and announce his name (less than 3 weeks!)

These two are candids. The first is a perfect picture of what it was like to get Chase to pose :)

Below are some of my favourite photos of Chase and I … {ever}

Ted shot these while I was talking to Chase about being nice and sweet and posing for pictures with S. When we uploaded these I teared up in awe at how precious these photos turned out to be. Unplanned, unposed and beautiful.

I feel like these are so perfect in timing. How precious and dear to my heart these photos will always be. The last few weeks as {just} Chasey-boy with momma and daddy. I just absolutely adore them.

Well, now that we’ve got a few shots of the belly… time for you to come Boy S ;)

Hospital gown; Help me decide?

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Hey! I am choosing a hospital gown from Annie & Isabel and would love your opinion. First though, you can read more about Annie & Isabel and the story behind the name here. Selena and Anna have incredible hearts and I just love what they are doing in creating such beautiful, unique gowns for woman. (I mean, seriously, have you ever had to wear an hospitals hospital gown?) I love and appreciate their hearts in wanting woman to look and feel, not only beautiful, but {hope}.

On a  more personal level this gown means something special to me as well. Sometime during bedrest with our Eisley-girl was when I first heard from “Annie & Isabel”. They wrote me often via Twitter to encourage, love and speak hope to me and this continued long after we lost Eisley (even still). I knew that whenever I would get pregnant again, I would be honoured to wear one of their gowns. I also feel like it’s my a kind of way of really being able to thank them for their love and support to me during my darkest season. And, yes, it will be so nice to not wear an open backed gown ever again :)

So how can you help? Well, I am torn between 3 beautiful gowns. One is simple pretty, another is more creative pretty and another is funky pretty. But I love all 3 of them….Please vote and help me decide? Which one do you think is more JAMI? You can click on the photo or link below each photo to see each gown in more detail.

 

01:: The Isabel

02:: The Susan

03:: The Anita

I’m going to combine the votes from facebook, twitter and here and go with that :) Thanks for your help!

If you know anyone who is expecting or spending time in the hospital, maybe send them to their site or buy them one of these beautiful gowns as a gift! They have a few more pretty choices, so go check them out!

I will remember, I will grieve.

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The very moment they put Eisley in my arms, after they cleaned and dressed her, I felt a peace wash over me. For the first time in my life I felt the “peace that passes understanding”. I looked at my beautiful baby girl and just knew… it was right that she was with Him. It wasn’t because she looked ill or sick… she didn’t, in fact, to the naked human eye, she was perfect. Her hands, her fingers, her tiny finger nails, her feet, her toes, her little nose that looked like Chase’s and her lips that were shaped like mine but big like her daddy’s.

She was perfect. But I knew, she was meant to be with Him.

I can’t really explain it, but yesterday from the moment that I first held her to our final earthly goodbyes, I felt peace. She is whole and healthy with Him. She rests between His shoulders. She isn’t suffering, she isn’t fighting. It is what is best for her.

I thought her being here with us would be best for her and now I know it wasn’t.

Like so many people, I felt like Eisley was going to make it. I truly felt, deep inside, she was going to win this battle for her life. I did. I don’t have answers, and right now, I don’t feel like I need an answer. Right now, I just know, it is right that she is with Him but we are grieving that she isn’t with us.

Someday, maybe soon, I may question this. Right now, I feel the utmost peace, the kind which passes my understanding. The kind that says, this is truly difficult and I am filled with sorrow, but God I trust You and will rest in that.

The day I found out Eisley’s heart stopped beating, that her fight was done… I didn’t feel peace. I can’t really say what exactly I felt.

Today,I ache. I ache deep inside. When I cry, I keep literally reaching for my heart just wanting the pain that’s deep inside to just calm. The ache that feels almost physical, to stop.

I grieve as I sit here with this stillness in my womb. Silence. My body no longer holds my precious Eisley. She is no longer here with me on earth.

We are filled with grief and stricken with sorrow, we will be for months and years to come. I will always ache when September 14th rolls around each year, the day her little heart stopped fighting. I will still remember September 17th, the day of her birth, as bittersweet. I will still cry and wonder what life would be like with her when her due date, December 17th comes each year.

But even more than just those 3 dates, I will mourn and grieve maybe every day from here on out for a while. That’s okay and I know that. 

But I will also remember.

On April 26 I will remember with joy, the day that I found out we were pregnant with our little surprise baby. I will still remember rejoicing on August 8th at our ‘Pink or Blue party’ where we found our we were having a girl, our precious Eisley. I will remember feeling her little kicks and hiccups deep inside.I will remember the very first time I felt her kick from the outside, at the very same time her daddy felt too.  I will remember the ultrasounds where we watched her suck her thumb and stick her tongue out. I will remember the heart monitoring and hearing her swift heart beat, beat, beat to let me know she was okay.  I will remember the night before she passed, when she reacted to her daddy’s voice as he talked to my belly. I will remember her final kicks to me the morning she passed away, like she was saying goodbye to me. I will remember the day we finally gave birth to her, September 17th-  the perfect delivery of our beautiful baby girl and the peace that washed over Ted and I when we held her. I will remember how perfect her little nose, mouth, ears, toes, feet, fingers… how perfect and beautiful she was.

Our Eisley is with Him, which is really comforting, but we still ache and we will. We feel the loss of our daughter so strong right now.

And we will never, ever forget Eisley and her journey, her strength and the the legacy she left behind before even entering the world. We will never forget what we have learned as we were allowed to be her parents. She was a miracle baby is now safely in the arms of her Heavenly Daddy.

We will remember and we will grieve, but we will someday she her again.

Arrival.

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Eisley Antalya Davis

Born September 17, 2010

2:10 pm

12.5 ounces & 10.5 inches long

She was so strong in her battle to survive. She was stunning, beautiful and perfect. And now she is whole and healthy in His arms.

We love you Eisley. You are our sunshine. Our little joy. Your little legacy and journey has changed how we view life now and has inspired us to live better lives and to be better people.

You shall go out with joy and be led forth with peace, my sweet Eisley.

Big changes ahead!

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We had our appointment with the fetal medicine specialist today. Eisley’s amniotic fluid is measuring at 8.61 which is better than a week ago. The blood flow from the placenta to Eisley is still showing absent diastolic flow so we need to keep praying for that to change. Next Tuesday she will have another weight measurement (they do it every two weeks).

There are some very big changes coming up soon. I am currently 26 weeks and 3 days and they’ve been waiting for me to reach 28 weeks to make some changes. Starting next Tuesday, they will begin giving me steroid shots which should help her lung development and prep for a possible delivery. They will also give me an IV with magnesium sulfate which will help her neurological developement.

As for “when will they deliver?” that is still up in the air and depends on so many things. Until I transfer, we will not know. They may decide to deliver because of her small chances inside the womb or they may have me wait it out, week by week. I think we will know more when we move.

The reason for the transfer is that the NICU at the University Hospital in Aurora can handle babies under 2 lbs and they are better trained to take care of the smaller babies.

Here are some specific prayer requests;

  • Eisley to grow and be nourished until she must be born.
  • A smooth transfer to the new hospital.
  • That God would guide my new doctors, nurses and specialist in when to deliver, etc.
  • That my body would react well to the magnesium sulfate. Dr. Daye told me that most of the time the mother is uncomfortable, hot and weak.
  • I will be further away from my family and friends and will be getting new doctors/nurses/specialists, which will be hard.

I am encouraged that we will soon be taking more steps than just “waiting it out”! She is doing well considering everything she is going through. Please keep praying for a miracle… it’s already a miracle that she has made it this far, but I long to meet her and watch her grow up too. Please intercede for our daughter!

More hopeful news.

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The specialists office had a change of plans and decided to do my appointment this morning because tomorrow she is booked. Right now I am seeing the specialist twice a week, typically Mondays and Fridays, so I wasn’t really  mentally prepared (as if you could be) for todays appointment, plus I am alone today too, so I was nervous.

Side note: They check weekly on the amniotic fluid levels and they do a doppler to check the blood flow from placenta to baby. Bi weekly they do a measurement checkup on Eisley.

When they checked her fluid last Friday it was at 8 something (they prefer to see 10-20) and then on Monday her fluid was at 9.15. Today her fluid is UP even more to 10.75! I was thrilled to watch that number go up! Then when they checked the placenta blood flow, I was so nervous, because the past two appointments had shown major concerns with the blood flow. Today I am happy to say that although there are still occasional absence of blood flow, it is back up as well!

A few more encouraging signs;

  • She is still scoring an 8 out of 8 on her bio-physical profile where they check her movements, her breathing, swallowing, etc. SHE is doing well and staying strong despite her placenta problems.
  • I can now feel her hiccups in my belly when a week and a half ago, I could SEE them during an ultrasound but couldn’t feel them.
  • Her bladder filled while doing the ultrasound today which is a good sign that her kidneys are still doing well despite everything.

So this may not seem like a lot but to me this is so much. I am hopeful and so was my specialist.

And I wish I had my scanner to show you the two SUPER cute ultrasound pics as of late. One of her sucking her thumb and one (of today) where she sticks her tongue out!!

Please keep praying because although this is really good news and a good sign we are not out of the clear. We need her to put on weight and we need the placenta to keep working. Please keep praying for nourishment, improvement, growth and healing.

Thank you!

x, Jami

a little bit of hope goes a long, long way

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Today we met with the fetal medicine specialist (thankfully they are attached to the hospital, so they just wheel me over). Right before the appointment I felt sick to my stomach and told Ted (who came down for the appointment) that I didn’t want to go and asked if we could cancel it.

I am so weary of hearing bad news and I really felt like I was doing good emotionally and mentally. I was taking it a day at a time, enjoying hearing her heart tones once daily and feeling her movements within. It is my bright hope amidst all of the bad news and fear.

Anyways, we went to the appointment and although her placenta still show concerning blood flow to and from the placenta to her (that’s been the same since friday), her amniotic fluid was up a little bit. It was a level 8 on friday and is now a level 9.15 today. It is hope, it is saying something is working to get it back up. We’re holding onto this hope and boy do I feel overjoyed. (Although levels should be 10-20s we will gladly take a 9.15 over an 8)

For the first time since we’ve been seeing the fms, she had good news and was actually optimistic. She told us Eisley’s bio physical  profile scored an 8 out of 8, which means, her breathing, her movement, her muscle tone, etc is doing well despite everything she is going through. AMEN! She is a fighter.

And He is in the womb with her being her strength. I just know it. I feel that way very strongly and I’ve had two friends give me almost the same picture of Jesus in the womb with her.

Please continue to pray for her healing, growth, nourishment, etc. She’s ounces away from being able to be born, she is 9 oz (hopefully more since last monday, but they check her weight and measure her next Tuesday) and she needs to be at least 16 oz preferably more.

 We still have a long road ahead of us, but we’re taking it a day at a time. We are holding onto hope that she’s going to keep holding on until she’s able to meet us face to face.  She’s now made it one week more than they thought possible, here’s to many more! Grow Eisley grow!