a war on our worth.

Posted on May 6, 2013 by colourherhope

Today, I’m fed up.

My word, how often will we (I) allow ourselves to fall victim to believing lies? How often throughout the day or week will we (I) allow things, situations, people – to determine our worth?

This is so heaaaaaaaavy on my heart. Because I see the lies and struggles and pains, etc, etc, ETC strung all throughout conversations face to face or on social media posts and pictures and it flippin’ breaks. my. heart. What we believe about ourselves and how we define our identity…

WE ARE SO MISSING OUT.

WE ARE MISSING THE POINT.

We (me, me, and me every day) are summing up our worth for the day in what we have/haven’t done, what we have/haven’t accomplished.

I’m so over it. SO over finally plopping down for the night and feeling like a failure. Some nights, I don’t but most nights, I do. I even measure up my worth by the cleanliness of my home, if I have/haven’t squeezed a workout in, how I communicated with my children, etc… SERIOUSLY, Jami?

The lies, the lies, the lies- whether it be a stay at home momma like me – struggling because even though it might be what we love and want, the enemy says: “you’re just a stay at home mom. And honestly, you don’t even do THAT well. Look at your home. Look at your children.” etc.

I hear it from working mommas, struggling believeing lies that they aren’t a good enough momma or that they didn’t spend enough time with their little one(s) that day, or that their little one wouldn’t be as close with them as a “SAHM” momma.

Or a wife who is struggling to get pregnant and struggles believing that it’s her fault and perhaps that she has failed. Or a husband who struggles feeling shame if he can’t help “fix” what is going on with his wife, or if they are struggling month to month.

ANYTHING that creeps in our hearts and minds and that we claim as our identity. Anything besides Christ and being His beloved…

I recently read Abba’s Child by Brendan Manning and OH.MY.WORD. has it truly helped me to understand what my identity in Christ is, how He views me. It’s an every day battle for me, however, I feel like this book ROCKED my world and perspective. Excuse the all over the place, post and quotes from his book. Here are some thoughts for tonight:

“Our identity rests in God’s relentless tenderness for us revealed in Jesus Christ.”

Facing our shadows:

“Accepting the reality of our sinfulness means accepting our authentic self. Judas could not face his shadow; Peter could. The latter befriended the impostor within; the former raged against him.”

We all have shadows. Too often I allow my shadows to overwhelm me. Even the “little shadows” of a messy home, misbehaving children, feeling chubby (yep)… what if we we’re to befriend our shadows. Accept them. Recognize they are there and they are real. And move forward in truth and in life.

“To ignore, repress, or dismiss our feelings is to fail to listen to the stirrings of the Spirit within our emotional life. Jesus listened. In John’s Gospel we are told that Jesus was moved with the deepest emotions (11:33)… The gospel portrait of the beloved Child of Abba is that of a man exquisitely attuned to His emotions and uninhibited in expressing them. The Son of Man did not scorn of reject feelings as fickle and unreliable. They were sensitive antennae to which He listened carefully and through which He perceived the will of His Father for congruent speech and action.”

What if we listened to our feelings, instead of repressing or ignoring them? Perhaps they wouldn’t overwhelm us if we truly faced them, accepted them, validated them or threw them out as lies. HOLY MOLY.

“we unwittingly project onto God our own attitudes and feelings toward ourselves… But we cannot assume that He feels about us the way we feel about ourselves — unless we love ourselves compassionately, intensely, and freely. ”

This hits home for me. I struggle with this so much.

“The sorrow of God lies in our fear of Him, our fear of life, and our fear of ourselves. He anguishes over our self-absorption and self-sufficiency… God’s sorrow lies in our refusal to approach Him when we sinned and failed.”

His sorrow. Isn’t it sadly ironic? In our sin, we run. When we see our shadows, we try to hide them or we allow them to overwhelm us, when the reality is HIS SORROW lies in watching us run, or hide, or be consumed, or fight. He’s our most welcoming love and our most approachable Father … and yet some days I cry tears of feeling like a failure, wallowing. Allowing my little and big shadows to consume me.

Accepting our Belovedness:

“The engaged mind, illuminated by truth, awakens awareness; the engaged heart, affected by love, awakens passion. May I say once more – this essential energy of the soul is not an ecstatic trance, high emotion or a sanguine stance toward life: It is a fierce longing for God, an unyielding resolve to live in and out of our belovedness.

YES.

“While the impostor draws his identity from past achievements and the adulation of others, the true self claims identity in its belovedness. We encounter God in the ordinariness of life: not in the search for spiritual highs and extraordinary, mystical experiences but in our simple presence in life.”

Brendan refers to our human nature as “the imposter” and I just really love that. This quote is another one that has truly hit home for me. I’ve recently recognized that I was allowing even the condition of our home cleanliness to determine my worth. WHAT? Not to mention, when I’m in public or home, and my boys are fighting or Chase throws a tantrum, etc… or when I’m filled with pride vs a humble spirit in an argument with my husband, etc. Or even most often how I am emotionally – in depression and in dealing with my fear and anxiety – this is a big area of struggle for me.

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Today I posted this photo on IG: “If in measure my worth by the cleanliness of our home, how it is managed and how well my children behave, I’ll always feel a failure. Finding my worth in Him alone is a daily struggle.”

This is what inspired me to write tonight. I know I’m not the only one out there that struggles with worth and identity.

I’ll end with this:

“Experience has taught me that I connect best with others when I connect with the core of myself. When I allow God to liberate me from unhealthy dependence on people, I listen more attentively, love more unselfishly, and am more compassionate and playful. I take myself less seriously, become aware that the breath of the Father is on my face.”

I n c r e d i b l e truth.

Just a “quick” post to declare it and share it with the hopes to encourage a weary one tonight.

“Define yourself radically as one beloved by God. This is the true self. Every other identity is illusion.”

xx,

Jami

simply put: i struggle too.

Posted on April 24, 2013 by colourherhope

Recently I hung out with a rockin’ momma to two boys. Our crazy boys ran wild and we talked. I felt at ease around her and like I didn’t have to worry if she saw just how crazy my life with my boys can get. What I loved is how very real she is: authentic and genuine. She shared her heart and struggles and thoughts. I appreciated it oh so much. We were talking and I realized I hadn’t seen her for months. Life gets super busy and while I know that was a part of it, I also realized something else this morning. I’ve tried to connect with other momma’s in the area, to be turned down, often. (This isn’t a pity party post, I promise :))

I have come to realize, that a lot of the struggle is me. Unless people really take the time to get to know me, they feel I am not relatable. Why? I’ve recently figured this out.

And oh.my.word. it breaks my heart.

I share a lot on social media, photos-wise. I share beautiful moments from our lives – down to the daily life that I find cute, or a meal, or I share creative things, places we’ve visited, things I’ve made, silly moments, etc. Over time and a handful of conversations later I’ve come to realize, people are intimidated. I guess from the outside looking in, mostly via my sharing photos, my life might seem like I have a lot of things “together” or “going for me”. I definitely know the reality of my life is far from these things, but maybe a struggling momma would see this differently when she sees a photo I post?

Today, I am here to say, I am not. I am sooooo far from having it all together. And I am so sorry if that is how you feel I’ve portrayed my life. It breaks my heart that in sharing, people might believe this to be true. After hearing little remarks/comments such as me being referred to as a “pinterest mom” or “super mom” or “that mom who makes all others look bad”, etc I know the importance of wanting to clearly share and portray my heart to you. I feel sick knowing that I’ve caused others to feel intiminated or downcast or like I am not able to relate.

My entire hope is to:

a) document our lives

b) encourage and uplift and inspire others in things I post: whether about life or in creativity

c) focus on the more positive because of where we’ve walked in life. I {have} to focus more on those moments or I sink deep into my depression.

I am weary of others either feeling I am unable to relate to struggle or that what I post is a facade. I’m here to say, I STRUGGLE and this is not a facade.

I know what the “world” says in successful and it’s truly a facade. It’s so difficult because we feel we need to put on these facades, to show the world that we’ve got it all together. When the reality could be, we are struggling, we are lonely, we need community. We need a safe place to share honestly and feel no judgement whatsoever. That is exactly why I recently started a momma’s group.

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(found this via pinterest and loved it!)

If we allow it, there is an intimidation that we sometimes feel when it comes to others and how we mother or even how we live our lives. Desiring their giftings or perhaps, when it comes to the lives we see online or what we think we see face to face.

I struggle because I want to share the more positive because that truly is an honest outlook on our life. Some of this is wired in me and some of this has really become a part of me since we’ve lost Eisley. I feel more aware and thankful for things I once took for granted.

But sometimes I struggle. I mean really struggle.

Sometimes Ted gets home from work at night and I have yet to shower, I’m in boogy and food covered yoga pants, dinner is only just getting started (if that), laundry might be done but folded – no way. Sometimes I am in tears or just bone weary.

I struggle because I know that I can’t have the house clean all of the time – that is unless I go mad-crazy and decide to clean all day long. I struggle because I don’t like to cook – I’m a stay at home momma who actually, dare I say, HATES to cook. I have no creativity or passion when it comes to this area. Zilch. I struggle because I have never been good at a strict nap schedule – or really, any kind of schedule – for my boys. You wouldn’t believe how often I feel guilty that it isn’t my strong area. My boys more often than not, stay up way too late and get up way too early.

I struggle because some days I yell at my kiddos or cry way more than I “should” in front of them.

I struggle lately because my sweet Chaseyboy has become mouthy, rude and keen to tantrum throwing when he doesn’t get his way.

I struggle when my boys seem to they fight more than love on each other.

I struggle taking passive aggressive things people post online (that have nothing to do with me) personally.

I struggle when others think I have my life together when I feel so often it’s messy and I’m often lonely and living as a broken and depressed and (still) grieving momma.

I have been struggling lately as I hear the comments that continue to flood in. I’m a sensitive soul and a people pleaser and I try to be as authentic as possible.

I actually feel so dumb saying it, but I’m truly trying to share the more difficult moments as well. I share here on my blog a lot about my struggles with depression, or about the loss of Eisley or even about Ted and I and about Chase and our struggles with him. I haven’t shared those sort of things on facebook and other social media sites as much because to be honest, after we lost Eisley I realized it made people uncomfortable or people didn’t want to hear it. People didn’t want to know what was going on. And also, passive agressive comments fly around on facebook so often about people who use facebook as a diary – and at times, reading and hearing videos of things people shared regarding this – it broke my heart. Here I felt lonely and shared online because of this (is this right? probably not, however when you aren’t a part of a community of people who want to hear what’s going on, it’s hard not to want to reach out – which is lame, but for me at a time, that meant through my blog and through my facebook. Asking for prayer and hope and encouragement. To know we weren’t alone.)

Something that has helped me a lot recently is a book called Abba’s Child by Brendan Manning. I feel like I am accepting my broken nature and learning who I truly am in Him.

I was sharing with a friend my struggles with these comments and how I’ve begun to realize how people perscieve me. It breaks my heart. If you know me or have followed me here, you know I love to document our lives. A part of who I am is that when I feel inspired, I pick up my camera. I don’t often feel inspired when I’m battling through a tantrum with my almost 4-year-old or when my boys are pummeling each other out of anger or when my husband and I are arguing. Or when my house is a wreck. Or when I’m up for 4 hours straight with my 1 1/2 year-old due to weaning. Or when I’m popping in my anti-depression medication right before bed each night.

Photos and posts about this, it is actually harder for me. Not because I don’t want to share those moments in fear of judgement – no, in fact I’ve come to realize people judge less when I share such photos. And when I share positive, I feel even more judged at times. It is mostly harder for me because I truly want to focus on the positive. I want to capture the beautiful moments – and now, I am working on capturing the more difficult ones as well. I have realized that people feel I am more relatable when I share these moments as well.

There are comments and things I have to brush off as someone’s judgement of me, but as I’ve heard from people I respect and admire myself, I realize, even those who aren’t judging me tend to believe this true of me. It breaks my heart and I hope today I was able to share a bit more to help put things into perspective and explain my heart.

I struggle too. Every day.

It’s just that for me, I {HAVE} to create and I {HAVE} to focus more on the positive. This is for me personally.

If I wasn’t such a people pleaser and an empathy-person, this post wouldn’t be happening ;) However, any time that even ONE person has a struggle with me, I’m torn. So this post may be more for me than for you, but I hope I’ve clearly portrayed what I have hoped all along.

Authenticity, possitivity and inspiration.

Love, Jami

Hipster Easter

Posted on April 7, 2013 by colourherhope

Okay, so no… not really a hipster easter. I just HAD to go there. People often comment on how my kids are “hipster” and I have no idea what that really even means?! Hipster or not, they were stinkin’ cute Easter Sunday! (And, I bought their little ties in the $1 section at Target!) tumblr_mkj717aB3I1s8r54eo1_500

Pre-easter service, we gave the boys little Easter baskets for the first time. Not once ounce of candy in there, mostly because {I} would be the one who’d end up eating it! (I LOVE chocolate) Ted asked Chase what was Easter Sunday all about and Chase proclaimed, “THIS!” and held up his micro-kite. Um… bahahaha- we laughed and shook out heads, then went on. We shared that like mommy and daddy love to bless him, God loves to bless us. And we went on to talk about the gift of Jesus’ life. It was actually very good. Chase asked me things like, “… and bad men hurt him?” “Why did he HAVE to die?” (We kind of over spiritualized the Easter baskets giving a little bit, yes ;) I’m a sucker for holidays; I wanna do easter baskets AND Jesus, what can I say ;)

And then, this happened (again). Shailo ate coffee right before church…

But thankfully the “Caffeine rampage” was over 2 minutes into the drive to church. Had to take a pic, I just LOVE his sleeping baby lips.

OH MY HEART. Perhaps a hipster pose by Chaseyboy or maybe more of an exasperated “MOM, QUIT TAKING MY PICTURE”? ;)

Family photo. I was telling Ted OH how very differently our outfits would look if we had girls only! I mean, I even wore BLUE last Sunday. I sure love it, though. So very blessed to call them my family.

WE are the cheesy ones. Our kiddos will never ever smile normal because, hello, their momma and daddy can’t hahaha! tumblr_mkk6npgi9H1s8r54eo1_500

We spent the afternoon and evening hanging out with friends.. Chase played for outside for hours, with a group of boys around his age or a year older! He had a BLAST and slept so well that night! :)

Ted and I hung out with friends inside and played games (this particular one they called “the bean game” and I’m not sure the real name. so fun though!) I ate WAY too much cake and candy and had a little wine on the side.

Just a little easter recap. Thanks for popping by!

Hope you’re having a wonderful, relaxing Sunday!

Easter eggs (a family first)

Posted on April 7, 2013 by colourherhope

As far as I can remember, this year was our first time dyeing Easter eggs as a family. Ted rarely has Saturdays off, but recently he has been given a few weekends with us. A fun blessing! Saturday, before Easter Sunday, we decided to try our hands at dyeing eggs with the boys. It had been years since either of us had.

It was kind of comical ;)
EasterEggs (1 of 2) We watched the Veggie Tales Easter story and got to work. Chaseyboy took it oh. so. seriously. :)
EasterEggs (2 of 2) Shailo just shoved his hands right in (thankfully this washed off!)

(photo taken with my phone) EasterEggs (1 of 4) “What’s gunna work? Teeaaam work!” EasterEggs (2 of 4) I love the shots above. He’s getting so big! (He’ll be a 1 1/2 next month!)
EasterEggs (3 of 4) We dyed some and then wrote on some with colourful sharpies.
EasterEggs (4 of 4)

Definitely doing this again next year. Maybe branch out and be a little more creative? Pinterest was EXPLODING with ideas!

So pretty and fun. worth the mess and extra long bath time :)

What kinds of ways did you decorate eggs this year?! I would love to hear!

Bits + pieces: colourful playroom + bedroom

Posted on March 30, 2013 by colourherhope

Welcome to the full room tour of the boys’ super colourful-artsy-vintage bedroom/playroom !This room is a collection of thrifted + gifted items from over the years (the most expensive thing I paid for was the $20 orange rug from IKEA – that’s really not a bragging point, but just to say, I’m a cheap-o and also, to hopefully encourage thrifting, because I know it works! ) I started collecting vintage toys since before we were pregnant with Chase. It has always been a small dream of mine to do a vintage inspired bedroom/playroom - if we are ever blessed with another girl I think this dream will come into fruition even more so!As you enter your eyes might be a tad overwhelmed ;) It is a bit of a colour explosion.

Chase spotted this rug at IKEA. $20 for a decent sized rug, not bad! We previously had a CARS blanket laid down for the wear and tear my boys put carpet through. Since we always rent – this rug was a nice find! It will help be a catch all for the little messes little hands can quickly make :)You might remember the room tour from our previous home. I had a very specific colour pallete – which is mainly the colours you see on the 5 canvases above. Well, that all flew out the window with this room. But I have to say, I LOVE where it went; Colour galore.
I hung an outfit both boys wore when they were infants. I also framed one of Chaseyboy’s first toys – it was well loved as you can see ;) The cars prints are from IKEA as well as the white frames. The ‘love’ Chase painted a while back.
On top of the changing table: a cute pillow friend my mom made Chase two Christmases ago. I also put their basket of musical toys up high for special times when my ears can handle the banging symbols ;)We’ve barely used the changing table for what it is really for – to change kiddos. We mostly have used it for storage. I thrifted the baskets that hold Shailo’s jammies and paints/comfy clothes. The bottom drawer holds the awkward sized toys that can’t fit into bins very well.
Some art I made for the boys room with a few quotes I love.The pendant banner is made of felt + string. It was decor I made for Shailo’s 1st birthday party.
Clouds + Shailo’s 1st year painting! Didn’t his turn out super cute?! I absolutely LOVED these curtains from the moment I saw them in an IKEA catalog. They were a whopping $15. Notice, I didn’t actually hang them with a rod. I just simply hung them with pins! They have yet to be torn down and they’ve been up for months now.

We like to call this tent the little “pirate ship cove” because… as you can see… my little pirate-lovin’ Chaseyboy houses his ships here. He and I found the first pirate ship at a thrift store for $3 and at Christmas time this year, he was gifted 2 more pirate ships. WHOA. Thankfully both of my boys are super into pirates currently (Chase’s 4th birthday party is actually pirate themed – per his request!)

The boys cozy spot of the room. Side note: The boys room has the most beautiful natural light all. day. long. We all enjoy being in this room and I think that is a part of it. LOVE natural light.It is a blessing to have both a mother and a mother-in-law who are seriously gifted in sewing. My mom has made these cute little stuffed animals for each of our kiddos!

My MIL, Anisa, makes the most amazing quilts and blankets for the boys. This one beneath my feet was one she made right before Chase was born. The basket that holds their stuffed animals (seriously, don’t know how this happened, so many!) This is where Chaseyboy sleeps (you might remember, Shailo sleeps in our room, sometimes in his crib, mostly in our bed ;)) Chase has never had a beloved stuffed animal that he just can’t sleep without but this pillow case is his ‘must have’. Thankfully I have 2! The sock monkey blanket I thrifted and it fits for when he moves to a twin bed. The name banners I made with scrap fabric and twine. And the picture was a gift from my MIL! I spotted a smaller version at an antique mall and she surprised me and mailed this beauty to me. Brought me to tears. LOVE it.

Chaseyboy also “can’t sleep” without the “rain” of the white noise maker and his turtle that puts blue stars on his wall at nighttime.

Under Chasey’s bed is a mesh organizer (IKEA) that holds extra blankets and the bright bin (thrifted) holds his Dinosaur Train + characters)

Art wall. Love this so very much. From left to right: chalk pastel art by Chase framed in a thrifted, vintage frame, a ‘you are my sunshine’ canvas I painted on Eisley’s due date – for her, next is Chase’s 1st year canvas and some photos you’ll see up close below, next is another You are my sunshine canvas – this one for the boys. This AMAZING piece of art is one my sister, Abie, did. She took a photo of Chase and I and re-created it with, get this, ONLY the words ‘You are my sunshine’ over and over. Isn’t that AMAZING?!

Up close of each of the boys’ 1st year canvases.

Frames are from IKEA and the far right one is from Target. Photos: Chase and his friend Anthem at our Ugly Sweater Christmas Party, and then one of my FAVES of the boys from this summer – by a tractor, and another of the boys, dressed the same with a similar expression – at the Denver Aquarium.We’ve all seen the crayon art on Pinterest – when it was becoming popular, a mom’s group I was a part of in Fort Collins did it! It was actually a lot of fun, mine of course, was a sun for my “sunshines” :) Below that is Chase’s 3rd year canvas and 2nd year, above that is a small painted frame with an ultrasound photo of Shailo and above that is the quote “every cloud has a silver lining” that I printed offline a few years ago..

Some of the collected vintage toys are able to be displayed (and played with) on their bookcase. The little red, foam car up top was Chase’s very first car! It has now been chewed and torn up but it’s one I just can’t seem to throw away!

My MIL often brings us things Ted owned or made as a child. I LOVE THAT. She brought down these heavy wooden cars Ted made when he was little. This blue truck is one of them.
This dresser was really nothing special. So I decided to add green and star knobs from Hobby Lobby! The mesh blue hanging organizer I thrifted but found out it is actually from IKEA! It holds dress up things and sometimes toys and stuffed animals – depending on what Chase puts in it.From left to right: The little picture frame which holds the first photo of Chase and Shailo (when he first met his baby brother) was actually made by Ted when he was a kiddo! The other painted frame – Chase and his friend Anthem each painted one before his friend moved away to Georgia recently. It holds a photo of the boys in a tent at their first sleepover! The skateboard I thrifted when Chase was a baby (hope to made skateboard shelving when they are older) and the blocks spell out our boys’ middle names. To the right: close up of the alphabet lamp I thrifted.These little white shoes were Ted’s when he was a baby! Next to it is the Willow Tree ‘brothers’ figure I bought for Christmas and a gum ball machine I added thrifted glass marbles to.The closet is my LEAST favourite spot in this room and you can imagine why :) But I am thankful for this toy organizer.I thrifted both the toy organizer and this vintage shelving! I love the little vintage print with the train and fox.

I made this pinterest inspired organizers “for the boys” this Christmas. It has been a HUGE help. I bought the little wooden creatures from Hobby Lobby for around .50-.67 a piece. I painted the wooden door hangers, and used scrap fabric to hang them. The letters are foam stickers. And the ‘months’ was written with a silver sharpie marker.

Laundry basket from, you guessed it, IKEA. :)

As you exit, you’ll always see this little sign on the door. Yes, indeed :)

Annnnd… just to keep it real… YES, I did clean their room for the photos and this is actually what it looks like 90% of the time…

Have a happy Saturday and a wonderful Easter Sunday!

DIY kid’s art display

Posted on March 27, 2013 by colourherhope

I am excited to share a simple DIY to display your kiddos art, or really, whatever you’d like :) Last week, I had the boys’ art strung on a piece of yarn tied between thumb tacks. It worked, yes, but for some time I’ve wanted to create a better display and when I received gift cards to Hobby Lobby for my birthday, I found the perfect frames and began! It seriously takes no time at all! Stay, especially if you have a little artist on your hands :) (and please excuse the horrible lighting and quality of these photos… I may just be speaking to my photographer hubby who I know will see this ;))

Supplies used:

Frames (you could use a regular and painted one if you’d like) – I bought mine at Hobby Lobby for 40% off of $8 each

Paint – colour of your choice

Paint brushes

Glue gun

Mini clothes pins

Stickers (or a Cricut to cut out your own)

Step 1: paint and let it try

Step 2: Pick a word, quote or saying and place stickers

Step 3: Glue clothes pins (measure and mark ahead of time – so they are even. Mine aren’t because I didn’t think that through)

Step 4: Print photos and add to frames

Step 5: Hang and hang up kiddos artwork

The aprons - one was a gift for Chase and we recently painted it. Shailo’s was $1.19 on sale at Hobby Lobby!

It is fun to display their art in a place for them to admire or show daddy and friends who come by. When we take down the art – I am so that mom who saves everything but recently started using an app called ArtKive which is amazing!

Hope you are inspired

26.

Posted on March 23, 2013 by colourherhope

On my 16th birthday my family and friends threw me a surprise birthday. 10 years later, it happened again! I arrived at what I thought was a meeting to work on DIY projects for my dear friend, Chey’s, wedding and instead was shocked to find a small group of my friends (and momma and sister) there! Even a friend was “there” from afar via skype!

And oh my word, was I beyond blessed by them. They {each} took time at the part to create me 6×6 canvases for my craft room wall. Each canvas has truth, or a word or who they feel I am. I could cry even now as I think of them. birthday13 Best. gift. ever (especially for the craft-lovin’-girl I am ;)) photo-1

We also had wine with sorbet and played a little Hearthrob which was a blast. Many laughs. Early the next morning, we dropped the boys off with their Mimi (my mom) for the night and next day. We came home and Ted made me healthy breakfast burritos while I got ready.

When I saw I got ready, it didn’t end up looking any different than any other day (besides no little hands grabbing at my legs :)) I had {HOPED} with my whole heart – okay, a little dramatic, but really.. I had hoped curlers would work to help curl my hair, as my hair is as straight as a pin since I’ve had kiddos. It didn’t, but at least I tried to be a little fancier for Ted ;)

We ate and then headed out. Where? To downtown Denver, where Ted surprised me with a “getaway”!!

First, we ventured through the Denver Art Museum. This is one of my favourite photos from the weekend. It felt so good to laugh together like this again.This man… amazing. The Lord has brought us out of a super dark season the past few years, together. I couldn’t be more thankful for him and our Father for helping guide us (still a work in progress, but really, when isn’t a marriage?)A shot of Ted shooting the shot you see directly below him :)After the museum we tried Mad Greens for the first time. DELICIOUS! It is basically set up like a Chipotle or Qdoba but with salad choices instead! Definitely recommend if you have one near you.oh my heart ;)After we ate, we strolled around and grabbed an afternoon coffee before heading to our hotel for check in. I was STUNNED when I saw the hotel. It is the nicest hotel, besides our honeymoon in Cancun, that I’ve ever stayed in. I almost felt like I didn’t belong, honestly, but had to remind myself, this was a blessing and to accept it!
Right: view from our room, taken by Ted.A KING sized bed. Which further encourage my desire for a king so co-sleepin’ parents like us can have a little space ;)
We dropped our things off at the hotel and headed to 16th Street Denver to explore. We wandered around for a bit, just chattin’ and people watchin’. We decided we wanted to see a movie and visited a theatre that was “high in the sky”.

We ate a mediterranean style pizza at The Mellow Mushroom. The place was PACKED because it was St. Patty’s eve and holy. moly. Thankfully the waitress placed us in a (mostly) quiet corner, perhaps because we weren’t wearing green she thought maybe we didn’t want to be in the crowd ;) Ted and I sat and had a phenomenal conversation along with an amazing dinner. I appreciated this weekend especially because it gave us some time for deep, quality conversation which is hard to come by sometimes. We talked of our dreams, goals, where we hope to be, and what the Lord is speaking to each of our hearts currently – which meshed – and I can honestly say that was the first time in a few years that it has happened like this. I felt a part of me be sparked back to life, which might sound dramatic – but true.

SO.VERY.THANKFUL.

Our goober faces. Ted asked them for the highest room available – without extra charge, and we got a room on the 27th floor! We died laughing as we tried to point to the exact place we were staying. The photo of Ted is right. Mine, not so, “because I’m SO short he couldn’t get the angle right”, hehe.
After the movie and dinner and before the real St. Patty’s day craziness started, we headed back to our hotel. We watched the movie The Words, went down to the fancy shmancy bar and had a drink to relax. Went back to our room and I even took a bath and went to bed early. What?! ;)Night view from our room.The next morning out of habit, I woke early, well actually I did “sleep in” but that was 7:15am. I woke to find Ted reading as the sun was rising over the Denver skyscrapers.

(sugar in the raw was a little inside-flirt we had going on when we were dating. He would give me honey packets randomly, and I would give him sugar in the raw. It’s silly but a sweet memory and it was especially sweet to find packets at our table that morning!)

Ted and I ate breakfast at the hotel and I had a SUPER embarrassing moment. First, in my defense, I slept 8/9 hours straight, which I haven’t done in I have NO IDEA how long. I was a “zombie”, for lack of a better word. Also, the booths we sat in were super tall – so you really couldn’t see over them at the people next to you. And, it was a super fancy breakfast buffet, but of course, so even more embarrassing ;) Our waitress came and filled our waters and told us we could head up to the buffet. I was first in line and headed back to the table before Ted. I sat down and I waited, and waited, and waited. 15 minutes had passed and I couldn’t believe how long it was taking him. I was about to get up when our waitress came by, looked at me a little oddly and asked to fill my water. I handed my glass to her and thought it was odd that it was empty! I quickly realized I was at the WRONG table. And not only that, but when I stood to find our booth I saw Ted with his food at the table directly beside me. OH MY WORD. The worst part is our waitress didn’t find it one bit funny. Ted thought it was hilarious and I just wanted to crawl under the table.

Some people get too little sleep and can’t function, um, apparently I’m the opposite!

We left the buffet, walked around downtown Denver for a few hours, had lunch, checked out and then headed to IKEA, a camera store, and my first time ever, World Market where Ted bought me all of these globes ;) I kid.

For a couple who is horrible at scheduling consistent date nights, last weekend was definitely refreshing. It was also our first “getaway” since we’ve had kiddos. We’ve always talked about it, but to actually do it was so incredible!

With that being said, I recommend a getaway night or a few hours to any couple.

Thank you for the sweet birthday wishes everyone! You made 26 seem awfully special! :)

Moments – on living intentionally.

Posted on March 20, 2013 by colourherhope

My darling, always-on-the-go Shai has calmed and now sleeps peacefully beside me. His little chest rising and falling softly. His chubby belly peeking out from his shirt. Sleeping in his diaper with no pants, but of course. ;)

He is now 16-months-old… I truly feel as though I blinked and here we are. Once again, I’m left stunned at how fast time seems to be flying by!

Which is kind of fitting with what I’ve decided tonight to share tonight. Something that has been on my heart for some time now: time. Even before I became a mother, I have found prioritizing my time difficult. Now…definitely so. I’ve also struggled feeling guilty for doing things that I love and that recharge me, especially with the seemingly endless ‘to do” lists. In reading Organized Simplicity, I’ve found that a lot of these struggles, even my insecurities when it came to do things I that recharge me; like creating, were written out and the author, Tsh, was speaking to my heart;

“Well, here’s the thing – everyone has been allotted the same amount of time. We’re all given twenty-four hours per day. The only difference in time between one person and another is how each person chooses to spend those same hours. Everybody is given the same chance, time-wise, to pursue different things. We each choose to spend those hours in a variety of different ways. And because this means we’ve got finite time to do finite activities, it should be a given that we use that time wisely and intentionally.” – Tsh Oxenreider, Organized Simplicity

Wisely and intentionally.

Each moment of each and every day is valuable. Over the years and on nights like tonight, where I sit stunned that my baby is 16-months-old, I’ve come to realize this more and more.

Every moment is a gift and what we do with this gift is so important.

I have wasted many moments, hours and days even. To even think of what those wasted moments amount to makes my heart sad.

We all have the gift of these moments. We have the choice to use the moments we’ve been given to either give us life and reenergize us or to allow our moments to slip away from us, doing things that may seem like the “right” or appealing thing but in reality they wear us thin, they drain us and over time we realize they are robbing our lives.

How often do we choose to seek after things that aren’t life-giving? How often we let even the mundane steal from us?

They’re robbing us of the precious moments we’ve been given.

Obviously there are things to be done: dishes to wash, clothes to clean, floors to be swept… On top of minds to me nurtured, little knees or hearts to be mended, bodies to be nourished, arguments to be worked through, appointments to go to, jobs to work and bills to be paid…

These moments are our every day. They need to be taken care of, yes.

But what I’m speaking of the moments we’ve been given outside of what needs to be taken care of. You might be thinking, What moments? Who has those? Pause with me for a moment. I know that there are seasons/weeks/days that are overwhelmingly busy and out of our control in some ways. But I think it’s safe to say that each of us has some sort of “down time” or maybe we’ve unknowingly allowed our lives to be so busy when we don’t need them to be.

I have begun to see how powerful it is to say “no” to the things that aren’t truly bringing life to my family and “yes” to the things that are. (Please hear my heart. It is to challenge our way of thinking and to ultimately ENCOURAGE us, you. Please read on, friends.)

“There should be some sort of criteria through which every potential event should pass, and it should only be added to the family calendar when it passes with flying colours.” Tsh Oxenreider, Organized Simplicity

Of course this makes sense. It is just a matter of doing so!

And what about time to be recharged/refreshed/reenergized?

I’ll be the first to admit that it’s hard to find time to do the things the reenergize us. I have to be intentional. And when I am, I rarely regret it (and I only say ‘rarely’ because I get caught up in feeling guilty sometimes.)

For me personally, when I have a “free” moment, I usually chose to create something. It’s just the way I am wired. Just as my momma is wired to organize. She does it effortlessly and often. She maintains a clean home and an organized life. I look at her and wish I had that gene! But also, wonder how she does it because that isn’t my strength, it isn’t my gifting.

We’re each created uniquely – even down to what bring us life and reenergizes us. Organizing does {not} refresh me, usually. Creating, yes!

I often get comments to me, people wondering and asking how do I have time for this sort of thing, you know: creating, decorating, blogging, party planning, DIYs on the blog, ETSY, etc. I think for me personally, this is just a part of who I am. I have to be creating. It’s therapeutic for me, really. It helps bring me life and refreshes me.

Often when I hit publish on a crafty blog or photo post, I always hope that people will be inspired, or understand my heart in sharing. That I won’t be misunderstood. I know that isn’t reality, because the truth is, we all view the things we see and hear through our own filters. Even sometimes through our own insecurities. I’ve come to realize that maybe the comments I’ve heard in regards to ‘how I have time to create or to do the things the refresh me’, maybe it is because we’ve come to a place where we feel that it’s a luxury. A luxury to do the things we love, creating or reading or exercising or whatever refreshes YOU. And that too makes my heart so sad because I know that you can do it. I believe you, too, could do the things you love and that bring you life.

Make it a priority. Set time aside. Plan ahead.

“There’s a big difference between intentional downtime and spacing out, and in a contest, intentional downtime wins hands down. We should recharge our batteries, relax, and get refreshed doing those things we love best.”

I get to make a lot of choices in a day. Choices with what to do with each moment. It’s like what Tsh talks about: intentional downtime or spacing out. The choice is ours to make time and the choice is ours how we spend that time.

I could choose to create, or to write, or to read, or exercise or I could veg out and kill time watching a show or surfing social media sites (I do both, unfortunately more of the social media than I’d like to admit!)

I hope you have “heard my heart” tonight. I hope you know I am by NO MEANS saying, How dare you sit on your bum on the couch and watch a show? Or surf facebook. Or pin on pinterest (um, hello, it’s me talking here). No, no, no.

I just know for myself personally, Setting aside time to do the things you love and that refresh you.

It is LIFE GIVING.

What if we paused and reevaluated our lives and what kinds of things are using up our moments? What are we allowing to fill our days? Are they things that need to be done or perhaps we have things that are robbing precious moments for us? Even the “christiany” things we might do out of habit, take a moment and ask God! Perhaps a quiet time painting or art journaling (okay, that’s totally right up MY alley, but maybe for you that looks different!)

What if we reevaluated in a way that we have allowed time to do the things that bring us life and refresh us? That bring healing to our hearts and minds? I wonder what kinds of things we could accomplish feeling reenergize and refreshed. Feeling healed instead of broken and weary and like we’ve blinked and time is flying by but we can’t exactly say where it’s gone.

i’m on a kick…

Posted on March 13, 2013 by colourherhope

An ogranizing kick, that is.

Now, before you shake your head or grow envious… listen on (and hopefully be inspired!)…

I STINK at it naturally, so I’ve needed a little bit of help on that front. I’ve had two {wonderful} helpers lately… My BEAUTIFUL and seriously amazing mother who last year started Ragamuffin Cleaning and Organizing. Well, she decided to come by my house to do some ‘before and afters’.

That kinda tells you how bad I am at organizing, right? :)

My other help has been this amazing book. I want to go through every nook and cranny in our house and get rid of things. ME. The queen of hoarding every little nostalgic thing, the crafter who has a hard time throwing away anything – I mean, most everything has the potential to be created or used in some creation! ;) Yes, this girl… makes wants to get rid of things. The book is that amazing. It helped me get a head start before my madre came down for the weekend. Ted and I started in February and began purging – but when I say purging I really mean piling EVERYthing we wanted to get rid of into a HUGE pile in our office … and our closet. But hey, it was a start.

That quickly came to a halt.

My miracle working momma came down and helped me figure out exactly where to go from there.

Behold…

She helped bring Ted’s side of the office from chaos to calm.

(note: vintage cameras hung, the final shelf to the right actually fell and busted one of them, Bah!)
She helped bring our closet from cluttered to clean.

She turned my side of the office from a huge burden to a place of freedom.

And then I took off on my own from there and organized my space into what I wanted it to be. I LOVE it and it’s now my favourite place in the house.

We spent all Saturday working on our ~~junk room~~ office and even had time to work on our kitchen! I had to share this photo because I know a lot of momma’s who might be able to use some ideas to turn the toddler-dish-madness into something that brings back some sort of sanity. I found these beautiful organizers at Target.

One thing that is SO disheartening it throwing away food. UGH, right?! This morning as I unloaded our groceries I had enough. My first thought to help organize our fridge was ducktape. Yes, seriously. HA! I opened our junk drawer to get the tape and a marker and saw a dry erase marker. PERFECTION! I labeled the drawers full, which is our main problem area. And also noticed it works on tupperware! WOOT.

side note: you can buy a 17pc pack of tupperware at IKEA for a whopping $5!

Ted has been juicing for a month now and while I love it, let’s be honest, the fruits and veggies rolling all over the counter, not so much. My mom and I stumbled upon this beaut at IKEA last week. How perfect is this!? We about this frame, plus the white top and the mix and matched drawers for $50 total. AMAZING. Defintely recommend! And yes, my boys do get into this, especially on the days they notice us stocking it with fresh fruits and veggies. Chase today wanted to “play Veggie Tales” and grabbed a tomato and cucumber. Shailo, he just puts toys in the baskets. Oh yeah, and eats a bite out of some of them. ;) But for the most part they stay out of the bins.

side note: the bird placemat came in a pack of 4 for $3 – IKEA

I truly hope you are inspired (especially as ‘spring cleaning’ weeks are about to begin)!

That is always my hope whenever you take the time to stop by Colour Her {Hope}!

Simple home decor

Posted on March 10, 2013 by colourherhope

Today’s DIY decor is a piece of art for those who need simple and quick …and a plus, reasonably priced!

Supplies used:

8×10 frame – Wal-Mart Mainstays frame under $2.

scrap book paper

flashcard (could use a photo or a quote as art)

paper cutter

1 piece of tapeDIY:

1. trace mat from the inside of the frame to size the paper correctly

2. cut

3. place inside frame

4. tape art on5. hang frame and you’re done! So many possibilities.

Hope you’re inspired!

Happy Sunday!

Colour Her {Hope}

Category Archives: Life

a war on our worth.

simply put: i struggle too.

Hipster Easter

Easter eggs (a family first)

Bits + pieces: colourful playroom + bedroom

DIY kid’s art display

26.

Moments – on living intentionally.

i’m on a kick…

Simple home decor

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