Here I am, letting go. Learning to trust.
I’ve calmed down a little bit since yesterday, although it is still pretty hard to keep my head on straight right now. To find peace the surpasses everything.
- I want to be a mommy to many. I still don’t know how many but I want at least 4 kiddos.
- I am afraid if my 1st is a c-section, my second will need to be as well.
- Getting an epidural/spinal is my only option if I want to be awake for our baby’s first cry and the moment where they tell me “it’s a boy/girl…”. The good news about getting an epidural for a cesarean is that the epidural/spinal does NOT effect the baby at all! He/she comes out quickly after I get medicine.
- General anesthesia wouldn’t affect the baby, but it would put me under and I would miss our baby’s first cry and a friend told me, up to an hour of his/her life! Also, coming out of that would be a nightmare.
- The healing process of having a cesarean. It’s longer.
A lot of people are wondering and asking what is going on, when is our baby coming, is it today, am I being induced…
Well, we had another appointment this morning and our baby is still backed out of my pelvis but is head down, just not engaged. My cervix has been posterior and still is, which basically means it’s really high. With the baby’s help, it needs to be pushed farther down before we can begin labor.
Our doctor told us today, that if we were to go into labor right now, we would most likely need a cesarean. He told us we need to wait this weekend out and hope that the baby moves back down and begins his/her descent to help everything get ready.
I don’t like the options that come with having a cesarean! One is general anethesia, which would put me under and I wouldn’t be awake to witness our baby’s birth and the moment where they say “its a…” but that would only be if I began with an all natural labor and then had an emergency c-sections. The other option is an epidural which I really do not want, but I would be able to be awake for the delivery, just unable to hold our baby until everything was finished.
Please pray with us that our baby moves down this weekend and everything begins naturally! It’s my heart’s desire to have an all natural labor and delivery and to have that precious moment when they place the baby on me.
We are hoping and praying for the best! Obviously our greatest desire is our baby’s safety and we will do whatever it takes for that.
Please join with us and pray!
Jami & Ted
Our Doctor is asking us to come tomorrow to see if things are progressing and to talk about what is next if nothing is happening.
Today was our 40 week check up and I left kind of confused but encouraged.