Life · loss and heartache · mommahood

“So I let go and in this moment I can breathe.”

“It is the calm waterIn the middle of an anxious sea.Where heavy clouds part and the sunrise starts. A fire in the deepest part of me. {So I let go and in this moment, I can breathe.}” 

– lyrics from Joy by Sleeping At Last

I’ve felt a heaviness (not just physically 😉) lately. One I haven’t felt in quite a while. The kind that lingers- trying to settle in and find a home inside of me. It feels an awful like the depression I’ve known in the past and while I know I’m “genetically predisposed” – I don’t want it and all it comes with. “I don’t want to carry it with me anymore.” I’d like to hope it’s just the baby blue and that it’s “just a funk”, but even then I {really} hate it. 

Today, I dropped the boys off at school, and made a choice to get out.

To move. 
To breathe in fresh air and feel the sunshine. 

Everly, Atlas and I ventured out to a park and then Garden of the Gods (per Ev’s request). When I wandered through the amazing rock formations I felt reminded of the Creator, who knows the depths of who we are. 


Who is with us always, sees us, calls us worthy, even when our faulty wiring tries to convince us otherwise.  I’m reminded of this joy – not happiness – deep within me. 

“So I let go and in this moment, I can breathe.”

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2 thoughts on ““So I let go and in this moment I can breathe.”

    1. Hi!! Yes, I’m on a roll uploading previous posts I’ve been sharing via IG to my blog for printing purposes (eventually). 😄 I wish there was a way to not notify my blog followers because it might be A LOT hahaha. I’m so thankful this one resonated with you! ❤️

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