{5 years}

Sunday -June 24th- Ted and I celebrated our {5th} anniversary!
(Can’t seem to find not one photo of just us from 2011…)

As we sat on the beach in Cancun, we talked and dreamt of what our future together would be like. Talk of where we’d be in 5 years, 10 years, etc. We talked about what our 5 year anniversary would be like, that we’d travel back to Cancun, to the exact spot where we honeymooned. …

That was initially the goal. :)

The morning of our anniversary I was running around the house, doing this or that, preparing for us to head up to Fort Collins for our anniversary evening, and I stopped dead in my tracks. I (we) had kinda of felt a little sad that we weren’t able to fly back to where we’d honeymooned 5 years earlier. But as I stood there, watching Chaseyboy play and use his imagination and Shai sitting on the floor, teething cracker crumbs covering his cute little face, my heart felt so very full. This is our real life. And I wouldn’t trade it in for {anything}. Ted and I talked about it while out to eat that evening, and even my dreaming-travel-lovin’ husband agreed. We sat with tears in our eyes, just very thankful, that here we were, 5 years – 3 babies, 8 moves, heartbreak and loss – later. Together still. Throughout everything, we’ve made it. I know that might seem a bit melodramatic, but it’s truly a miracle that I can stand here and say we’re making it.

I realize that I may be misunderstood in sharing this. But for those who have/are walking down a road that you may never have imagined walking (not only with loss of a child…) you’ll understand this. There were countless times, after losing Eisley, that Ted and I weren’t sure we could make it. Grieving oh so differently, all while trying to figure out how to be there for the other. Even still, we struggle and somedays it’s a fight within to really keep pressing on. We are and I am so very thankful for this.

Another thing we had talked about doing for our 5th was an anniversary tattoo (and thankfully this is the 2nd anniversary out of 5 that I am not pregnant! so that worked well ;)). We had talked/dreamt up these rather elaborate tattoos the represented this or that. And who knows, maybe someday we really will do those. However, at the beginning of the year, we talked about what we really wanted and it came down to simple, meaningful, powerful. We just wanted ‘i love you’ written in each other’s genuine handwriting.

To be able to read it every. single. day. through the good times and the really hard ones… that is what we wanted.

Side note: Placement was a hard one, but the awesome thing is that in the end, we both shared where we were getting it and it so happened that we each wanted it on our arms and as unbelievable as it sounds, we really didn’t plan on it being on opposite arms either, so that when we hold hands it’s together. (You can laugh, I am) I’m a sap and I absolutely love it! Ted already has a tattoo above his collar bone and had originally thought he’d want this tattoo on his right side above the collar bone but decided right arm instead. Mine is on my left arm. I like it there because it’s the same side as my wedding rings. See, I’m a SAP. 

With all of that said… Sunday, we got our tattoo together.

We went to the gal, Ryan, who tattooed my foot. When I called to make the appoitnment they told me she only had one hour slot available on Sunday and was booked through July. I felt bummed but she contacted me to say she’d remembered me and loved the idea and would do us BOTH! Hooray!

I went first because I wasn’t sure I could handle watching first. The anticipation was alreadykilling me! It began and the pain was {nothing} compared to my tattoo on my foot.

Ted … he was such a pansy. ;)

la la loovve it!

(Left: Ted. Right: me)

Happy 5 years, my Love. Here’s to many more!

4 thoughts on “{5 years}

  1. Hannah says:

    This brought tears to my eyes. I’m a total sap too though, and Manny and I are also celebrating 5 years this year, so of course I’m all sappy about it. I cannot even tell you how much I love your tattoos. adore, seriously. I wish I’d thought of it ;) We have a few ideas for anniversary tattoos as well, but it would be Manny’s first and he’s not a fan of pain so he’s not sure, lol. Anyway… Happy Anniversary!!!


  2. Ashleigh Dean says:

    Oh my word – I love this. So much. And I love that you are both wearing black TOMS :) You two are so adorable, even if you aren’t in cancun “living it up” – you are “living it up” together and with your precious babies!


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