Eisley Antalya · Jami Joann · Life

This beautiful thing called ‘Hope’.

I feel broken inside. I am afraid. I feel confused. I ache, physically and emotionally.

I could let my mind go to the worst of the worst places, I could let fear overrule my every move; paralyzing me from believing truth, speaking truth, living truth.  And to be honest, I probably will somedays.

I am now on complete bedrest, at 14 weeks pregnant. Little baby D is still doing well, but the clot in the placenta has grown in just 6 days, to be 2″. My doctor & a fetal medicine specialist felt to put me on bedrest, put me on more folic acid and iron and to wait this out.  They told us that 50% of women can carry healthy babies and 50% lose the babies. This terrifies me so much.

I want to cling to hope and not to fear. Fearing will destroy me, especially in this season of my life. I really want to cling to hope, trusting Him with my whole heart. This is a huge and difficult task for me. 

I couldn’t find a song I liked on the radio, I think 3 weeks back, and I ended up flipping to a christian talk show that caught my attention. A couple spoke about their trust in God despite an awful experience they had been through (getting pregnant with a really sick child, losing her at 32 weeks pregnant). There trust in God really, really struck me.

I had a much needed conversation with Him, came home that night and I told Ted, I felt like God was preparing me for something big. Something that would require a lot of trust (I even wrote it on my fb status). I didn’t think this would be it, but I knew he was preparing my heart for something

(Let me say though, I do not believe God caused this to happen, to teach me a lesson or something. That is not the God I know and love. I won’t go on and on, but I needed to say that.)

So here we are, waiting this out, praying for healing and clinging to this beautiful thing called hope. Hope in Him.

 I love little baby D more than words can say and I will do whatever it takes to keep him/her safe, even if it means bedrest for almost 6 months more. Please, please, please pray for our baby and COMPLETE healing on the placenta.

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9 thoughts on “This beautiful thing called ‘Hope’.

  1. Jami your hope and trust in god has shown me so much!!! I love that you are real yet you trust god so much!! Love you and lil d sooooooo much!!!

  2. Joining with you in hope and trust. I love the Davis four with all my heart. Thanks for keeping us posted. All my love from Kansas.

  3. Jami, I have been praying for you and Baby D. Keep up the good fight. Speak the truth of God to yourself out loud even and don’t let yourself get swallowed up by fear. I really believe God has a plan for this little Baby D!! We love you! KT

  4. Our prayers are with you, your family and precious baby D … Must be special to have so many prayers surrounding D so early … Hope is a beautiful thing!

  5. Jami,

    I am praying with you guys. I pray for strength to persevere. And when you have no strength, I pray you receive strength from the people who love you and strength from your God who loves you and your precious family. May you feel his presence today and find shelter and peace through him.

  6. Jami, eventhough we dont know each other that well personally, I find myself praying for you family, Little baby D and you!!! I admire you for your courage and because you are so transparent and honest here in your blog!! I admire the fact that you are strong even in your weak times, I dont know if that makes sence, but yeah!!! I cant wait to see pics of Little baby D and enjoy looking at them as much as looking at Chase’s. God Bless to all of you Davis!!

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