Life

Me (Of Little Faith)…

This is very humbling, but definitely something I need to share. I deleted and then reposted the blog below called ‘{Dis}couraged’ because I realized I want to be completely honest…

I want to always be {real and raw} on here.

Yesterday, we arrived for work early because Ted needed to run sound for worship. I wrote  the blog post below out of my emotions and out of my lack of faith.

Two huge things happened not even two hours later.

01:: We were asked to share with the staff at YWAM Denver about what was next for us, our future plans. We shared and then stood as our friends surrounded us and prayed for us. They began to speak out words and pictures they felt God gave them for us. Some were about our plans and of confirmation that we were headed the right way, some were about the time in between now and the photo school, some were encouragement and some were even about our marriage. It was so uplifting and exactly what we needed.

02:: Immediately after staff meeting, our friends who left us borrow their car (which was for sale), gave us the title and told us it was now ours. They told us they prayed Sunday and felt led to give it to us!

As soon as I got time alone, I cried because I felt excited and then completely disappointed with myself and my doubt.

Yesterday I shared this with my friend April. I told her how I felt disappointed with my lack of trust (again) with God. She told me that maybe God just wanted to bless his little girl and that thinking about the way I reacted beforehand wasn’t the lesson. That was hard to swallow. And then last night while texting my friend Petra, she challenged me too. She said feeling badly can steal the joy He wants us to feel from the blessing He has given. That the message from yesterday was about his care and his love, not condemnation and that He just wants us to know He has us in His hands and that we can rest securely in Him.

I spent last night and this morning thinking about that and it’s hard to accept, His unconditional love. He met our needs, both physically and emotionally, despite our doubt. He holds us securely no matter how I am feeling in the moment. I don’t know why I doubt him when I have seen Him move in our lives and the lives of others, over and over again.

We have a car and we are extremely grateful for this blessing. Thank you for praying for us!

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4 thoughts on “Me (Of Little Faith)…

  1. wow! I’m glad yesterday was so uplifting! I get on the same roller-coaster and all I can think about are my woes. Thanks Jami for reminding me that God wants to take care of us.

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  2. I love your honesty in your blogs. We all get discourged and sometimes wonder where God is. You make us see it is normal, all Christians go through it. Don’t ever change as we love you the way you are.

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  3. I love your honesty as well as I have told you many times. Thank you for being who you are and know that it is an encouragement to me… I too struggle with accepting God’s gifts and the joy he wishes to bring to our lives… It is always easier for me to sacrifice than receive…

    xxoo

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