Today my mom and my friend Bethany both encouraged me with very similar things; being emotionally real and letting go of what hold onto so tightly.
They weren’t just talking about what I want our birth story to look like, they were talking about something deeper. (They didn’t actually say that, but I knew).
My trust in Him is what immediately came to mind. It is my weakness to pull away, to withdraw my hand, when things become difficult or tough. It is hard for me to trust Him completely, with my everything. I begin to try and take control of the situation in fear of what His will might be.
I am afraid He will leave me.
His will for me sometimes scares me, because of my past. I am left wondering how He expects me to truly trust Him completely. Then I remember how much He probably is longing for that. For my trust in Him again. And even how much He truly does deserve my everything.
This isn’t easy.
This isn’t simple.
Here I am, letting go. Learning to trust.