Ted and I have shared with many of you about where God is leading us and I realize that unless we spoke to you in person, than you are totally unaware of what on earth I am talking about. Hopefully this blog update will fill you in a bit!
I’m going to rewind back to March of 2008 and begin there…
In March of 2008 our commitment with YWAM Denver was up and we had the choice to recommit for another year or move on. We prayed and felt led to recommit and as we did we were asked by leadership to join a leadership team called the Timothy Team. We needed time to pray about this because we knew it was a two year commitment. We spent the next week praying and calling our friends outside of YWAM and our families and asking them to pray as well. God was speaking to us but nothing specific about whether to stay or to go, and He did this all the way up to the “11th hour”. The night before our deadline to give our answer, God finally spoke and clearly.
“ Write the vision and make it plain on tablets, that he may run who reads it.
For the vision is yet for an appointed time; But at the end it will speak, and it will not lie. Though it tarries, wait for it; Because it will surely come, It will not tarry.
Behold the proud, his soul is not upright in him; But the just shall live by his faith. ”
When we read this together we knew God was asking us to stay and commit. We also knew that this was a step of faith for us both because our flesh was telling us that two years was a very long time! This is what we felt was right for us, and that He is faithful and would not let our vision tarry! AMEN!
God totally rocked this last year, challenged us in our faith in Him and in trusting Him. He brought us through a valley where everything seemed to be crashing in on us. Almost from the very moment we commited to the Timothy Team our financial support began to drop. Not long after that, a situation arose which had the potential to ruin our names in this ministry, specifically my name. We were shocked speechless, “What was happening?”. Both of these situation had us questioning God’s intention for us staying on staff another two years. We wondered, “Is this what the next two years will hold?”. It was such an intense time of attack.
Our Faithful Father helped us walk through these difficult times in such a miraculous way. Both situations caused us to trust Him and walk by faith rather than by sight. On paper, financially we should just be able to pay our rent and have gas money for our car, but with each month, God always provides us with enough for all of our expenses!! He blesses us beyond what we could ask for!
With the other situation, God challenged us to not get on the defensive side but that in the end He will show our true character and the truth of who we are. This was so hard for me personally because I am very black and white. I’ve been a victim of injustices before and when something great or small arises now, I want justice and it is extremely hard for me to be merciful. Ted is the opposite. He is usually more merciful and understanding naturally.
With the help of God and Ted I am able to release the desire to see “justice served” and let it go. And that was/is completely freeing for me! I still occasionally struggle with questions of why and I have to deal immediately with unforgiveness when it arises. I spent too many years in unforgiveness for things that happened in my past, that dealing with this was incredibly draining. Causing me to walk back into some of those sickening feelings of bitterness. God’s been faithful to us through this all and is slowly but surely healing and mending areas internally. Maybe this is one reason of why these things came about, not that I believe God causes these, but He most definitely creates something beautiful out of something difficult.
He has promised to “restore the years the locusts have eaten” (Joel 2:25) and He is doing what He promised me. Slowly but surely I am seeing this!
This is getting very long, but honestly this is the beginning to where God has been leading us. I’m also a detail kinda girl and writing a small blog update is actually really hard for me =) Please bear with me. I will continue to write the rest on our “Part 2” after my lunch break.