Today began with a horrible stomach ache awakening me, and seconds later my wonderful Hubby walking in our room and kissing my head. For a second I felt a little better.
So this morning in ended up resting in bed, thinking a lot about our time so far in Thailand. I was somewhat saddened to remember we’ve been here 4 weeks already, and only 4 more to go! It’s a bittersweet thing, for we miss our friends and family, but really wish we had more like 6 months here instead.
As I lay in bed, I realized again just how incredible God is. I remember when I first began to get a heart for Thailand was through an old friend. I remember he came back from a Thailand missions trip a few years back, and how he couldn’t stop talking about it. I think at first I just wanted something to be passionate about, and then the more I learned the more I truly had a heart for Thailand.
I remember in my DTS when I traveled to Malaysia and Indonesia, and what an incredible experience that was for me. And how much God changed me and challenged me. I believe he is doing even more now!
Now, Ted and I are leading! It is hard to imagine that this would ever happen, and to know I am really not dreaming! It has been difficult leading to be honest. Ted and I both are learning a lot of “do’s and don’ts” right now. And hearing even more of what not to do from others around us, which is to be expected.
This is Ted and I’s first opportunity to work together in ministry outside of the Denver base, and I cannot even tell you how beautiful it has been. Don’t get me wrong, there are most definetely the challenging moments or days, but the beauty of watching each other walking in who we are in Christ, and leading…it’s incredible to say the least.
I am so, very proud of Ted and how he leads. How he does not get discouraged and back down. He has a true leader’s heart, and he has really surprised me as he leads here. He’s really challenged me to not shrink back, but to push forward, despite of the circumstances around me or despite what people think of me.
It has been challenging, personally. I have felt attacked from the moment I arrived until one week ago. I know the enemy would like nothing better than to make me feel like a failure and defeated, especially while I am where my heart has longed to come.
This morning as I thought of this, I realized just how much God has been working on in me in this season. When I look back at the growth that God’s done and is doing in Ted and I, I am in awe. Of who God is, and who He is molding us to be!
Basically without God’s grace, strength, and l o v e, it would be impossible to go through everything we are going through. One thing I hadn’t experienced in leadership until now, was how much you are put under a microscope! It’s intense!! You really need perserverance and God’s strength to be a leader!
I have felt, (key word felt), like a failure a few times, to say the least. It seems easier to believe lies about myself sometimes, but when I do realize the truth I cling to that. In my moments of weakness, God holds me, and helps me through. Same with Ted. And that is what encourages us.
As we are walking in who we are in Christ, we are being Christ, and therefore we are not failures! And we are NOT of those who shrink back!!
Please pray for us to remember the truth of who we are, and most importantly, to walk in that truth. Please pray for our marriage, as the days are sometimes tiring, that we are still loving with each other. Please pray for guidance as we lead and for us to love our team.
I was thinking a lot this outreach about Tiff and Phil’s lives. I’ve watched their videos countless times, mostly because most of the time it still seems like a bad nightmare to me and to Ted. We watch, sometimes cry with each other. But one thing that God has really pressed on my heart to remember, is who they were. The amazing legacy they left behind.
Tiff’s life has helped me remember to be Christ to EVERYONE and to love, truly, genuinely LOVE everyone! And Phil’s life has reminded me to serve God with my whole heart, despite everything going on around.
Well, im so sorry this is long. It is my rambling thoughts for the day.
We love you and miss you greatly!!